The whole point of going to the theater is that it's a Big Deal! It costs a lot of money! You should dress up! And not have a goddamned snack! You should have a nice dinner beforehand!

Hey, when we're fighting for dollars with the multiplex down the street? I'll take what advantage there is. Even my dinky little independent shows are more expensive than a movie.

But this is like travel for a lot of people - I feel that people should dress nicely for airflight (or at least sensibly), but there a lot of people who resent being told that they shouldn't dress like they're in their own living room. It's all about societal expectations, and Americans have a long history of resenting external expectations being imposed upon them.

One of the families in an article keeps a color coded spreadsheet. First reaction: whoa way to keep score! That must cause conflicts. But then my second reaction was, "I wonder if we did that, if it really would look equitable through whatever lens we choose."

I wonder how skewed that is by taking out the fun stuff equation. Paul does the lion's share of the fun stuff. I know it exhausts him (but he's better at it than I am).

It occurs to me that I'm really angry about subbing.

The class I'm in has been a party class, a class where the admin and the other teachers tacitly accepted the fact that kids who weren't supposed to be here trouped in and out and no one did anything about it. Even when a kid couldn't be located on campus, they new to check her for that student.

I'm bitter, I think, because I'm unwilling to force one group of kids (the homeroom group) to do the portfolio they are supposed to do. I'm supposed to pass them off to the next teacher. My sense is that the lead teacher in this small learning team is mad at me about not doing this.

But she didn't do anything to help establish order in here. And why should I, in my extreme lame dunk position as a fucking sub in the last 3 weeks of school, wrestle with kids to get them to do it? LAME.

Anyone who thinks reading to children isn't sometimes work has not read the same board book to an 18 month old 30 times in one day. Especially if it isn't even one of the *good* board books (I'd happily read Jamberry or Hairy Maclary 30 times. Well, maybe 20 times.)

Sigh. Still happens with a 4-year-old. Somebody gave her this STUPID Christmas book called Annabelle's Wish about a calf who wants to be a reindeer, and she made us read it to her every night for two weeks in a row. Ugh.

Fortunately now I've gotten her into Mo Willems' pigeon books. Much more fun to read. And I figure she's almost old enough for chapter books read aloud. I can hardly wait to introduce her to Little House and Narnia and Trumpet of the Swan and All-of-a-Kind Family and...

From juliana's link:

Before you leave for the airport, look at yourself in the mirror, and think: Could I meet and IMPRESS someone who would change my life while wearing this? And if the answer is "No," change.

Good advice for any time you leave the house I'd say.

In my marriage, I am less concerned with absolute equity and more concerned that we got each other's back, that we're there for each other and the kids.

So did they tally bill paying and bookkeeping into housework? I'm assuming they did.

totally lame Kat and a cop out on the lead teacher and administration. I've had bosses like that, expect you to fix quickly something they have neglected for long stretches.

a color coded spreadsheet does sound crazy, but if either partner is a "keep track in my head" type, it is probably best. I am making a picture chart of tasks for mac at the suggestion of the therapist. They are not really chores, but I think he sees them as such. Ideally he will be able to start helping with household chores in the next year or so.

So did they tally bill paying and bookkeeping into housework? I'm assuming they did.

I think so.

a color coded spreadsheet does sound crazy, but if either partner is a "keep track in my head" type, it is probably best.

I'm not a keep track in my head person. But I am a love data person and I think it would be fascinating to have access to that data to see if my gut instinct is way off base.

I am making a picture chart of tasks for mac at the suggestion of the therapist. They are not really chores, but I think he sees them as such.

What kinds of tasks?

But what if you volunteer and find out that you're "is" or "of"?

What if the book is written in an ugly font?!!? (Whoah, you get to CHOOSE the font? That's just crazy talk!). But still. I, too, would feel out of context)

The beginning of the primary race was so friendly and supportive and happy-making! Which is why it was SO disappointing when it turned ugly. Because it didn't have to be that way

Exactly. In my ideal world, the primary is about a race to find the best person, but it's in pursuit of a higher goal--to represent the ideals of the Democratic party, and know that whichever of you wins the primary, you want ONE of you out there, running in November, trying to represent, etc etc. And that yes, you may have different messages, but that doesn't mean you can't have civilized debate and stand for some of the same things too. Etc, etc. I know that's all idealized and unlikely, but...Hell, I'd love to see even a little bit of that in the GENERAL election!!

I feel like chores in our house were very unequal growing up, but that was a lot due to the fact that my mom stayed home. So of course they were. And, my sister and I were older than my brother. So when we were old enough to do various chores, he was still too young. And by the time he was old enough to do some things, I was headed off to college...so there came a time, I'm sure, when he was doing ALL the dishes, and stuff...but then again, there were fewer dishes, by that point, because there were only him and mom and dad, and not five of us, anymore!!