...I guess I don't dine at the right restaurants, because where I dine, if they leave the bottle at the table, they don't touch it again till it's empty. Or else, if they do touch it again, they get their handses smacked for the trouble, because the people at the table misinterpret their pouring glee for taking away perfectly cromulent wine that hasn't been drunk yet.

Now, with something like refill coffee, that they have to bring to the table when they pour it, there is no hand-smacking. Although I have had several waiters fail to comprehend that "the coffee cup is on my right, and thus not easy for you to reach" means "please ask me before sticking your hand in my face and grabbing the cup." Usually, if I want a refill, I just put the cup at my outermost elbow and wait.

The thing that annoys me about waiters that pour wine for me, is if I am dining with friends and sharing a bottle, sometimes one person drinks faster. And if we're attempting to split equally, and the waiter goes ahead and refills for the faster drinkers, it makes it more difficult to share. So you end with one person who was drinking slowly (maybe they didn't order a salad, so were drinking slowly so they could enjoy the wine more with their entree?) and only gets one glass, and other people who, due to the waiter, end up drinking more like two. We hatesss that.

(I found one spoiler which, if it's true, is so inane and ludicrous that it's pure comedy gold.)

You mean like the actual spoilers for The Village?

That's exactly what I thought of. Because I liked The Village and was retroactively confused at the reactions to the spoilers.

I just wish it was a universal signal to waiters that if you turn your coffee cup upside down on the saucer not to bother you asking if you want coffee.

(If it were a life or death situation, I'd still have trouble drinking coffee -- couldn't physically choke the stuff down without quite literally gagging on the bitterness. Luckily, it hardly ever happens that someone puts a gun to your head and demands that you down that tall double latte right now or else.)

Happy Birthday, Dana!

Happy Birthday, big girl Ellie!

I found one spoiler which, if it's true, is so inane and ludicrous that it's pure comedy gold.

I think his movies are pretty inane and ludicrous, so I'm betting on true. (The one with Bruce Willis was okay but I kinda ruined it for myself by guessing the "clever twist" about 5 minutes into the movie.)

(The one with Bruce Willis was okay but I kinda ruined it for myself by guessing the "clever twist" about 5 minutes into the movie.)

This makes me laugh cause both movies he was in, this is probably true.

if it's true, is so inane and ludicrous that it's pure comedy gold.

I hope so, because the trailer was crushingly bleak and depressing.

Everything is trying to blow up on me today.

I meant Sixth Sense, Aimee. What else was he in?