Scola is so sexy when he looked at me in SF, I giggled like a teenager.(And I like to act hard! You shouldn't do that to people, man, dag.) Allyson, if in some way we could get our preferences lined up, either cause I was a dude or we could be womyn together, I would date you. I love brainy Jewish people. I'm single because...I don't know, I should have died at birth?

Because most of the marriages I've ever seen make me all "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!"

Because I look at crime-scene photos for pleasure,(um, not that kind of pleasure) and my mother foolishly told me to Be Myself!(Sometimes I wish she'd told me to be somebody else. Somebody better.)

first off. Hil, breathe. Relax. What ever it is, you are brilliant, and it won't be a problem.

Fay. OMG! Gorgeous. I dunno who said it, but the lipstick, flirt, "I fancy you" conversation sounds good to me. And thanks Hec for signing the letter from all of us, I concur!

LET IT BE KNOWN- If someone fancies ME (or you know of someone who does), feel free to let me know. I am clueless in this respect. Which is but one of the reasons I am still single. I accept the fact I am single. I do not like it. But I do not fear it such, that I would make a rash, silly dating decision. I think it was Vortex who said Waiting for the right one. Maybe when she shows, my shyness would drip away. In the meantime, I have a vivid imagination, and a ton of lust that stays well kept inside and doesn't effect outside life. That said, now that I no longer work at old work place, I really want to ask cutie Burlesque dancer formercoworker out. But fear it would be unfair to both of us as I am moving 2,000 miles... plus, not sure if she fancies me. I wonder, if I went to a bar with a childish note taped to my back that says something like "Shy, but great kisser. Talk to him" or something. Would it work?

OK, I really should be in bed. I'm an emotional ball of string... maybe rubber bands. Tired from a VERY COOL late night work session with ND at the Planetarium (LOVE THAT PLACE), and a wreck from lovely sentiments from co-workers in good bye/good luck cards. (it's in my LJ, I can't type it all again. ran out of tissues). OK, off to bed. Must get sleep. Tomorrow is a LONG day. Starts early. Lots of driving.

Daisy Jane, I saw the note, haven't had time to read/respond yet, but the browsing looks like it is chock full of great info. I can't wait to digest the it all. Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

Fay, I've spent time with you on more than one occasion, and I have to say, you are dead sexy. Fo shizzle my nizzle.

I just used the F word in front of a couple of underlings (describing my herculean efforts at maintaining suspension of disbelief during Indy 4). Luckily they were amused.

I just boggle when women on this board, women that I am in absolute fucking awe of, women that I'm completely intimidated by, fail to see just how awe-worthy they are.

If I had one piece of advice it would be to treat yourself and talk to yourself as you would treat or talk to your closest friends. If you had a friend that followed you around all day and randomly talked shit about you TO YOUR FACE, how long would you keep them around? And yet, you're with you twenty-four hours a day. Stop treating yourself like shit. That's my advice. FWIW.

heh

I have been single for so long I don't know how I'd react if someone did express any interest. I spent so long thinking that being overweight = undesireable that I didn't even make any attempt to try to meet anyone.

The whole singleness is a big, thorny topic for me. I'm not sure I want to be in a long-term relationship, but I hate that I've gotten here by default.

gronk. Dear jebus this is early.

Gah. I have to run off to the Deco Fair in a few minutes, but I just want to stay here and alternately hug and cluestick everyone. You are all astonishing, wonderful, creative, whip-smart, big-hearted, fiercely loyal and graceful and delicious persons, and that includes physically. Not everyone here lines up perfectly with Western beauty standards, but holy fuck, y'all are beautiful anyway.

(Digression: Not to mention that NOBODY lines up perfectly with Western beauty standards; when you've got drop-dead gorgeous movie stars struggling with anorexia and bulimia and an ad world that can insist that fucking Clive Owen be Photoshopped because he isn't good enough as is, you have one seriously fucked-up set of beauty standards that clearly no flesh-and-blood human can possibly meet, and which none of us should set our self-worth by. Ever.)

The guy I was hung up on before Hec? Looked deep into my eyes and said, "You're beautiful and smart and funny and interesting and we share a faith and a set of values that mean more to me than anything, and I know objectively that The Chick Over There is very average-looking and backstabby and has broken the hearts of half the men I know, but I feel really drawn to her. When she smashes me to pieces and I've pulled myself back together, I know you're exactly the kind of person I will want to marry, and if I come knocking on your door I'll have a ring in my pocket. But for now, I feel compelled. I must pursue Ugly Backstabby Heartbreaker. Goodbye."

It's not fair. It's not sane. It has absolutely nothing to do with what you look like or who you are or any damn thing but...I don't even know what. Random chemical things going on in the mind and body of the person you desire, over which you have no control. It's not a judgment by the universe on your worth. It's utterly fucking random, and it sucks that there's so much joy and pain and misery and public judgment tied to something so random. But, dammit, there isn't a person here who isn't richly worthy of the good side of all of it, and I don't know why it hasn't already happened for everyone here, except that it doesn't have a damn thing to do with the intrinsic worth or attractiveness of anyone here. Dammit.

Bah. Must go now. Love everyone here, and make out with all of you. Ferociously.

On a lighter note

Now maybe I'll get out of bed, or should i say off the couch.