Allyson I haven't met you in person but I have seen pictures and read your book and I think this:

You're devastatingly beautiful, and clever, and sexy as all get out.

absolutely applies to you. In fact I wish you dated girls so I could take you out and show you the good time you deserve.

t hearts Laga

Oh Hil, I missed your panic attack post. I hope you're feeling better soon.

Feel better, Hil.

Thanks, guys. I think I figured out what triggered it. Now I've just got to calm down some.

I have grown tired of singleness.

The drying-up-of-eggs is certainly intensifying the effect.

{Kristin}

{Hil}

{all y'all}

spam and eggs: I wouldn't have to be single if I wasn't so picky. How about you?

Breathe, Hil. Maintain an even strain.

it's about me, being difficult to look at, and more often than not, worthless.

You are so fucking not difficult to look at! I could look at you all day and be glad of the view.

And "worthless"? Really? You have no value at all? So, everybody that loves you just has poor judgment or bad taste? Your friends are all idiots?

I'm pretty sure that The Kristen has excellent judgment and good taste in friends. I would also think that ita knows what she's doing in friend-choosing.

The things that I value in you, Allyson, are the same things you value in other people. You're deeply, honorably loyal. You're smart, and you're fun and you're big hearted. You're good company, snarky and wicked. So I don't doubt that your crush wants to hang out with you. That doesn't mean you're undesirable or unlovable. It just means he thinks you're cool.

Laga, I read that as SPERM and eggs. And was like "Well, that's on topic, but...um...."

...or did you murder your last girlfriend? Is this some kind of karma for past misdeeds?

Maybe I murdered a girlfriend in a past life. Ay.

Though apparently, someone has a crush on me. Somoene besides the 52 year old!

A 45 year old! Who...has a girlfriend in New York with two kids who is moving here in July!

Yeah. I've met her once or twice before, and tonight she was at the dancing with friends of mine, and kept being like "I have to leave" because apparently I was being too cute and flirty or something. Uh. OK? She also apparently has a huge thing for redheads, left handed girls, and other assorted random things that I also happen to be. Though she was relieved to find out I am at least not Jewish. Even though my name is.

Conveniently for me, at least, I am not attracted to her. Because that would be awkward, as I have no intention of stealing her from her westward bound girlfriend with two children...

(Why? Why is there not a hot hot person near my OWN age, who is SINGLE, who thinks I am hot????? Why would that be so wrong, universe??)

Oh, also: GILF's boytoy R, whilst discussing random gayboy that another friend E and I have acquired (who seems very sweet, and has continued to attend events for a few weeks now)

R: So, how did you meet him?

Me: Well, E and I just kinda picked him up, Memorial Day weekend, when it was really empty, and no one was here. He was all alone, so she and I decided to talk to him. You know us, we're friendly like that.

R: That's true. You two are really friendly. It's nice. You were really friendly to me, when I came here.

Me: (thought, but not said) Oh, yeah. When you said "Will you have sex with me" I was just being FRIENDLY when I said "yes". That's why the complete lack of follow through hasn't bothered me ONE BIT.