It hurts that you're ashamed of it, Allyson. You really shouldn't be. I think Scrappy is, as usual, very wise.
Everyone wants to be better, and everyone has doubts, and everyone struggles to translate what's in their heads to the page, and honestly, that's normal. That's GOOD. (It's the Cliff Burns of the world who think every word they write is gold, and generally have no perspective or objectivity OR willingness to grow and learn.)
I just wish I had some way to convince you to have fun with this. To let it come, and go back to it later to revise and tweak and reshape.
It's helpful to be able to be able to see it reflected back at me through other people.
I don't know how to separate me from the work, as Scrappy says, and as Tim keeps telling me. It feels like trying to separate my toes from my feet.
I know I don't want to do it anymore, but I'm obligated to finish, which means three more chapters of ripping veins out of my arms....she says with no small amount of melodrama.
"Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." -Gene Fowler
I think if you just love every word that drops from your fingertips to the page, you're Anne Rice.
Allyson, I hope the last three chapters go really fast for you, ripping out veins sounds uncomfortable in the extreme.
For those of you who thought I'd left my cookie jar drabbles behind, this follows on right after the very first one I wrote SailAweigh "The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time..." Feb 3, 2008 8:03:41 am PST:
Hat Trick
"Got any spare change, buddy?"
The man glanced at her and then down at her tip jar. Face averted, he entered the McDonald's next to her. Another puffed up high-hatter, eating cheap before blowing half his paycheck in the bars lining State Street. Third one that night, who couldn't even spare a quarter. Her breath puffed out in disgust. She bent over to count the coins in the jar, when a bag was thrust toward her. Off balance, she clutched it to her chest, the smell of warm burgers and fries drifting to her nose.
She met his eyes. "Thanks."
Allyson, here's something to read when you start thinking you can't write: [link]
BTW, Sail, meant to say I really loved how you turned that on its ear. It was lovely. And I could just smell the burgers and fries and damned if I didn't want some Mickey D's fries in that moment.
Barb, I'd wandered through your LJ at one point. I have a candidate for your cabana boys.
Ah, Sebastian. Not only has he been a cabana boy in the past, he was the avatar (in this guise)for Guiile in Adiós
Pretty, pretty Sebastian.
I spotted him not too long ago on Christina promoting something (I wasn't listening closely enough to tell what) that involved him wearing a loin cloth. (I got kinda distracted.)
Heh-- wonder why... The loincloth was probably for the play in which he winds up completely nekkid.
