I dream of having some work done on my place

I dream of having my place, but then I get that nevergonnahappenwhybotherthinking sinking feeling, so then I remind myself to skim home improvement posts until my stoicism returns.

I read that pirate story and laugh, because dollars to doughnuts I wouldn't have done that. It takes a huge amount for me to register anything as a physical threat. It so rarely occurs to me that any given situation has the capability to escalate to fisticuffs.

I just don't associate fighting with anger and violence as much as perhaps I should.

boss is out of town, but is acting odd via email - I think something is up and I do not like it. He was supposed to be out all week, but now is coming in on Friday it looks like.

(I have no plan for lunch that fits my migraine diet rules. I may have to eat salad. Grilled chicken breast over fresh veggies and vinaigrette dressing. I think that is okay with the rules. Although maybe I shouldn't be eating meat out. I definitely shouldn't be obsessing about lunch when it's not yet ten and I haven't done enough work to earn that.)

From today's Shit I didn't say file:

NO! That's the wrong answer. Stop being all reasonable about things! We'll never get new books that way.

EDDIE BAUER. I haven't tried there yet for cargo pants! NEW MISSION.

Let's not start today over, let's just fast-forward it.

Shir! Your mom's bad-ass! Go her!!

Noah in Rocket Scientist t-shirt = TOO MUCH CUTE. SPLODIATION FROM CUTE.

lisah, can you maybe get a hot plate? That way you can at least make stove-top food. Or, yes, a camping stove.

Protests and counter-protests were already starting as I did my morning run. The spokesperson for China's Foreign Ministry is all strident about the "lawbreakers" along the torch route. Dear China - last I looked, protesting was not illegal in France, Britain, or here. Shut it.

I heard about this crash on the traffic report this morning. Sad. [link]

My mom just called. She was walking in a mall, when suddenly she saw a shadow in the corner of her eye and felt someone touching her bag. She turned around and punched the guy, hard.

Damn, that is AWESOME. The kind of thing I always hope I'd do, but probably wouldn't. (Er, well, the punching a pickpocket thing, not punching someone I know trying to surprise me)

I wish that every woman that was brushed up against grossly on the subway, or worse grabbed in anyway would take an open hand slap to the guy's crotch.

Ew. But that would involve my hand and his crotch. Can't I like, elbow him in the crotch or something?

I just heard on the radio that there is a HOT TUB in the middle of hte highway, causing traffic accidents. Er...

This is making my mouth water. I love a good unsalted butter.

Meara, if you slap openhanded you can cup with the fingertips and also smack from behind the nuts. Rumour has it that this exacerbates the whole thing. Plus, the closer your elbow is to his crotch, the closer your face is.

ita, there are some Amish ladies at the farmer's market by my office who sell logs of fresh butter that would kill you ded. So amazing.