I know I'll pose The Question to them this sunday (hell, were it not for the early meeting, I'd call them now.) Because the program freaked me out. Because I can't do what the one person did that I'd want to do. I simply don't have those financial resources.

Whether I'll get an answer is another thing entirely. It'll take time. And I hope we'll have enough time.

On the way home, I got stuck behind an SUV that had a huge decal on the back window that said "in Loving memory of Tim Gxxx 11/3/1983 to 6/5/1984."

Is that really weird to anyone else?

Yeah, that seems weird.

I can't think about my parents anymore. Bad enough my grandmother's going to die.

Yes, Perkins. I get really weirded out when cars are used to announce things that I assume are deeply personal.

I'm not having the talk this weekend with my parents because my mother and sister aren't talking, and everyone in the family is all het up about my medical straits anyway.

I know I'll pose The Question to them this sunday

Which question is that?

ita, how are you feeling regarding the diet mods?

I lost all my grandparents by 20. Hell, I'd lost 3/4 of them by '91, when I was 16. I saw the body of my paternal grandfather carried out at 11 and oooh boy that had repercussions I didn't expect (I'd have sleepovers where I'd wake up sobbing inconsolably for reasons I couldn't identify and mom had to come get me. And if I don't tell those I love that I love them before I end the conversation? It upsets me and wakes me up.)

Watching the discussion post-program has only made me want The Conversation more. As much as I'd rather it moot.

Which question is that?

What the fuck are we supposed to do if you become physically and/or mentally incapacitated? Retirement home? Us? Hospice? What is your view on the whole living will thing? What are your lines in the sand, medically? What about your finances? Who controls them? What is the status of them? What is your ideal? What do you expect of us, your kids?

I've been my parents medical and financial executor, briefly, because my parents hadn't updated the will in too many years and my brother was still a theoretical being in it (I yelled at them to fix that.) I knew what it was for, and it was temporary. I vaguely know the state of the finances. The long term stuff is harder. I need to make sure that my brother and I are on the same page for the dire circumstances stuff.

I know that it's difficult but you need to talk about these things. I can't stress that enough.

Because having your parents get sick? Sucks. Having them die? Sucks even more. Knowing that you did exactly what they would have wanted you to do? Priceless.

In more boring cat news: Nothing seems to confuse my cat as much as bubbles.

Perhaps we should have some cat-equivalent to Jilli-font. We could call it Hec-font.