I don't use a special ringtone. iPhone has the old skool phone ringing. I've thought about making a Gimme More one with just the intro ("It's Britney, bitch!"), just cause it makes me laugh. I would love a BSG one, but when I searched (like a year ago) all I could find was the theme from the original BSG.

t cue dramatic music

As the child of a convicted pedophile, with whom I lived a lone for many years, the offender registry is an issue that just makes me shake my head. Granted, it was a long time ago and systems have changed, but it was pretty easy for my father to skip the list by moving around a few times. Unless there is someone in authority bent on tracking a particular perp, follow up is not a high priority.

I haven't read anything about omnis' neighborhood, but I'm guessing the concentration was identified by a neighbor or other interested party, vs authorities making an announcement. Is that right?

As for clustering, I can't imagine that being anything other than opportunistic vis a vis availability of minors. Pedophiles don't generally form clubs or work together. So a confluence is only more dangerous by virtue of the law of averages, rather than any extra strength evil.

As for having paid their debt to society? Man, my liberal heart wants to think this is possible and my practical experience says...once a threat, always a threat.

It's probably a much too deep or tangential conversation to have here, but, rather than focusing on what to do with offenders after the fact, I would so love it if this country did something about prevention. But that would mean giving up our habits of repression in conjunction with the marketing of sex.

And also, one of the reasons I do the work I do...though I don't specialize in abuse...is to help people let go in the aftermath. I consider my mental health the greatest victory I could ever have over my torturer. Sure, I dreamt of killing him...more than you probably want to hear about...but the fact is, his slow, excruciating demise was so much more miserable than anything I could have devised for him myself.

He didn't take anything away from me that I don't give up myself. Bruises heal, trauma can heal. Strength of will need never die.

My biggest problem is that I have seen that particular enemy and he IS us...to paraphrase Walt Kelly. I read that story in the NYTimes a few years ago about 'prostitots' being dressed like Britney Spears. I saw those photos of 2 and 3 year olds dressed in sexualized outfits and literally threw up. The problem isn't just with offenders...

Don't get me wrong, I don't advocate dressing kids in potato sacks as a safety measure. It wouldn't work anyway. Whatever we make pruient and unapproachably desireable, we make more attractive to fragile minds. And yet, we still buy the magazines, tart up our tots and then become outraged when what we are afraid of comes to pass.

Sigh.

t /quit dramatic music

t neck snapping mood change

Happy birthday, Beverly! I am making a shrine to you in my heart filled with Bev-things of symbolic and seasonal import.

This may be the coolest birthday greeting I've ever heard. I am so using it...with appropriate citation...from now on.

And adding my own, Blessings to you Beverly, may this be a year of peace and ease...with a healthy dollop of joy for you.

Happy Birthday, Bev! May you have a relaxing and joyous day to celebrate.

My ringtone is "Margaritaville." My daughter chose it for me when I got the phone, I still haven't changed it.

Brand new day!

bonny, I think your tagline says it all.

Stabby stabby fucking death stabby.

The friend of the family that died just after Thanksgiving? My dad's best friend? His widow just died today (also a close friend of the family of course). Of a stroke.

stabby stabby stab stab

Thanks for sharing that Bonny. That's such a useful perspective. It's clear that you've dealt with your issues around your history and the nature of your work you've had to very consciously confront them. But it is still brave to broach that kind of thing in a public forum and I always admire the willingness to bring a personal story like that into such a loaded issue.

I know I've benefited from Buffistas like Cashmere who've spoken at length about her brother's mental illness and others who've talked about their experience with rape and assault.

So, thank you.

Crap, {{Nora}}

Bonny, I can't improve on what David said, but I'll add my thanks -- for your constant honesty even more than for the specifics.

Happy Birthday, Beverly!

{{{Nora}}}

I agree with Hec. Thank you for sharing your story, bonny. You are strong as hell!

Thanks for sharing that Bonny. That's such a useful perspective. It's clear that you've dealt with your issues around your history and the nature of your work you've had to very consciously confront them. But it is still brave to broach that kind of thing in a public forum and I always admire the willingness to bring a personal story like that into such a loaded issue.

Yes. This. Thank you.