Turn your life into a movie, Aims!
Much as I would love that ...
Seriously, I have no idea how to proceed. Do I write her dad and say, "Hey. You ever tell her she has a sister cause I'd like to meet her now that she's of age." and go from there or do I email her and say, "Hurray! You aren't an only child! I'm your sister!" I don't have much in the way of respect for her dad, but enough for her that I want to make making contact as non-intrusive on their family as possible. I don't want to be the evil woman who fucks up her life.
I know I bored you all to death talked about this in here before, but I've never had her info in front of me like this until now.
I know I bored you all to death talked about this in here before, but I've never had her info in front of me like this until now.
I have no answers for you but it's totally fascinating. Not boring.
I find it hard to imagine what I'd do in the same situation.
IMHO, screw what bio-dad wants. I would contact her if that's what you want. She has a sister! And a niece! I would want to know.
Aimee, they were talking about that kind of thing on the radio this morning. One of the DJs is adopted and really resented it when her birth mother came looking for her after a family member found her through the internet. She had no desire to find her mom and felt intruded upon. A number of other callers felt the same way, when there was no intermediary. I'd go through her dad and hope he actually follows through.
This is so exciting, Aimee! Not even a little bit boring. It's hard to know what to do. I kind of lean towards leaving the dad out of the loop. I guess, since she's an adult, I would lean towards contacting her directly, making it clear that you're not asking anything of her.
This must be really scary for you. It's a difficult situation, but I have confidence that you'll do the right thing.
Aimee, when my DH's father died we found out about relatives he never knew he had, (and his father's fiancee and friends found out about my DH). It was awkward, but not impossible. He liked some of them and not others. On both sides, there is unresolved resentment and anger. But he was able to establish a relationship with some of them.
I think you have to first understand your own expectations and remember that they might not be met. (They might be exceeded.)
I don't think you have to approach your bio-dad. She's of age and can make a decision. You just have to live with her decision, just as she has to live with your reveal.
Also, considering writing and not emailing. This may be my own bias, but it would seem more thoughtful to me and give her something tangible that you touched.
Also, considering writing and not emailing. This may be my own bias, but it would seem more thoughtful to me and give her something tangible that you touched.
And you could include a picture of Emma!
Also, considering writing and not emailing. This may be my own bias, but it would seem more thoughtful to me and give her something tangible that you touched.
Excellent point. Maybe I will do that. Probably will.
And you could include a picture of Emma!
Hard to resist that face!!
