This is so exciting, Aimee! Not even a little bit boring. It's hard to know what to do. I kind of lean towards leaving the dad out of the loop. I guess, since she's an adult, I would lean towards contacting her directly, making it clear that you're not asking anything of her.

This must be really scary for you. It's a difficult situation, but I have confidence that you'll do the right thing.

So if you press the backspace it types B and if you press B the backspace works.

a strange symmetry

Aimee, when my DH's father died we found out about relatives he never knew he had, (and his father's fiancee and friends found out about my DH). It was awkward, but not impossible. He liked some of them and not others. On both sides, there is unresolved resentment and anger. But he was able to establish a relationship with some of them.

I think you have to first understand your own expectations and remember that they might not be met. (They might be exceeded.)

I don't think you have to approach your bio-dad. She's of age and can make a decision. You just have to live with her decision, just as she has to live with your reveal.

Also, considering writing and not emailing. This may be my own bias, but it would seem more thoughtful to me and give her something tangible that you touched.

Also, considering writing and not emailing. This may be my own bias, but it would seem more thoughtful to me and give her something tangible that you touched.

And you could include a picture of Emma!

Also, considering writing and not emailing. This may be my own bias, but it would seem more thoughtful to me and give her something tangible that you touched.

Excellent point. Maybe I will do that. Probably will.

And you could include a picture of Emma!

Hard to resist that face!!

Aimee, I think I would avoid contacting your bio-dad first, because, just based on your past experience with him, I doubt you would get the response you want. I agree that a handwritten letter with a picture of Em would be nice. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Queen Elizabeth (current) was coronated on a Tuesday, so you should be good. It doesn't have to be any particular day of the week.

George IV's corination was on a Thursday. I think you're most certainly safe.

Cool! Thanks, y'all.

Also, writing imparts a sense of importance and thought that doesn't come from a dashed off email (not that it would be dashed off, but it could have been)

And, FWIW, I'm basically in agreement with the consensus--I wouldn't go through your bio-dad, but definitely be prepared for any kind of reaction from your sister, because it could be all over the map, and it's something that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the messiness of a situation that's beyond either of your control.

Aims, I'd say contact bio dad and say "I'm getting in touch with bio-sis in March. If you'd like her to have some warning, you'd better give it before then."

That way, if there is any dread shock, it is cllllllllllllllllllllllllearly his fault.

Then I'd send her a letter, possibly registered so you can be sure she got it, that includes photos.