I can't imagine working from home with a baby. The *only* reason I was able to study for the bar exam 6+ hours a day after Ellie was born is because my mom did everything but nurse her.

One of my moms was actually there for much of the time that I was. She would never have gotten any work done otherwise, especially since she was also the one who insisted on things like boiling bottles endlessly and changing her newborn's diapers with nothing for cleaning but distilled water and cotton balls.

I called down the hallway:"can you find a book to read?" and got foghorn blasted back with "I. ... CAN'T. ... READ!!!"

I love this.

It just occurred to me, after years of have the same cleaning organization clean my house every three weeks, that perhaps I should leave some sort of Christmas tip. I don't always get the same crew, so I don't know how it would be distributed. I take baked goods to my hair salon for that purpose, but that's about it. What do y'all think?

I can't really afford a cleaning service, but without it, I'd be in danger of being a cautionary tale on the the news about the woman who was killed by a falling pile of trash.

From a way back:

My funeral? I want you all in black and sobbing. Hats! Veils! Gloves! Stand at my graveside and look like an old movie for me.

This is what I would want at my funeral also, if I ever were to die. (Yes, my plan involves Not Dying. No, I don't have all the details worked out yet.)

meara, I am very sorry you're encountering the infamous Seattle Nice thing. *I* want to hang out with you, but my schedule is currently insane.

I don't think most people can do work from home that requires any kind of concentration with a baby.

The boys didn't much care for the swing, but it worked for very limited amounts of time. Since I was a business owner I took the boys to work with me until they were finished nursing. (about 2 years) If they needed to be held and I had to be doing something else there were a dozen other arms available. Much of the time they were happy to be in a playpen in the middle of the store watching all the activity and getting attention from coworkers and customers. I know I was blessed to be able to have them with me.

I don't know when the needing to be held all the time phase ended, but they grew to be independent little boys and not the least bit needy.

Nighttime was a much bigger deal for me as I was sleep deprived for many years. No doubt I slept more with them in the room with me.

The cloth type soft carriers didn't work for me. Maybe because the boys were so crazy large. The more structured strappy deal worked better.

WRT babies, my two pretty much wanted to be held nonstop for the first two or three months, so it was either hold 'em, sling 'em, or swing 'em. But that DOES let up as the baby develops more and more ability to explore the world on his own. And if they do not have a bouncy chair yet, they need one. Boy did the bouncy chair help. Both my babies were happy to sit in it for a good while at a time, so at least I could get a bit of housework done.

vw, I liked the Hotsling I had when Owen was a newborn. But when my back gave me problems, I had to stop using slings and carriers. I found a particular type of bouncy seat (Fisher Price vibrating rocker) which had a kickstand to use as sort of a bassinet/chair. And when they got bigger, converted to a more traditional bouncy seat/rocker.

Owen, I carried or held most of the time. With Liv, I had less of a chance, so she tended to fuss more before she got picked up. Eventually, all parents learn their groove and learn to get stuff done (or learn what doesn't have to get done) in time.

Zenkitty, are you still on gmail? I got a message about the Breath...write-a-thon.

Most parents can tell the difference between fussing to be picked up and fussing because of a problem. I would gate the kids out of the kitchen when I was cooking at times because my kitchen was not a safe place in the old house. Bobby was a consummate actor and it was impossible to tell when he had a real issue. He still can convince you he is clueless about the disappearance of the cookies with crumbs on his shirt and melted chocolate on his cheeks. He was screaming at the kitchen gate and I was doing stuff and ignoring him (not for long, just to put stuff in the oven) and the child had his finger pinched in the gate. guilt guilt guilt

One thing, vw, is that as a new parent I would have been easily annoyed by childless friends or family members giving me advice. Or even childed friends or family members giving me advice (like, say, my mother.) I was soooo touchy about being judged for my parenting skills or lack thereof. So I suggest you tread carefully. Pointing them at a web site - like Ask Moxie which several of us have found useful - might be a tactful way to help without being too helpful, you know?

This post in particular might be helpful: [link]

Also, this: [link]

One thing, vw, is that as a new parent I would have been easily annoyed by childless friends or family members giving me advice.

I am *really* careful about giving what seems to be advice. I try to be supportive. But, apparently, last night that came off as dismissive. So, I'm trying to add some knowledge to my support. That's all. I don't even pretend to know what I'm talking about, so I've just not even opened my mouth. Apparently, my brother knows me as usually having an opinion, so he thought that when I didn't have anything to say, it was because I didn't have anything nice to say, which wasn't the case. So, trying to at least change that, so I can say, "Wow, well that sounds totally normal, from what I've heard my friends say."