Spike's Bitches 38: Well, This Is Just...Neat.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
I don't think most people can do work from home that requires any kind of concentration with a baby.
The boys didn't much care for the swing, but it worked for very limited amounts of time. Since I was a business owner I took the boys to work with me until they were finished nursing. (about 2 years) If they needed to be held and I had to be doing something else there were a dozen other arms available. Much of the time they were happy to be in a playpen in the middle of the store watching all the activity and getting attention from coworkers and customers. I know I was blessed to be able to have them with me.
I don't know when the needing to be held all the time phase ended, but they grew to be independent little boys and not the least bit needy.
Nighttime was a much bigger deal for me as I was sleep deprived for many years. No doubt I slept more with them in the room with me.
The cloth type soft carriers didn't work for me. Maybe because the boys were so crazy large. The more structured strappy deal worked better.
WRT babies, my two pretty much wanted to be held nonstop for the first two or three months, so it was either hold 'em, sling 'em, or swing 'em. But that DOES let up as the baby develops more and more ability to explore the world on his own. And if they do not have a bouncy chair yet, they need one. Boy did the bouncy chair help. Both my babies were happy to sit in it for a good while at a time, so at least I could get a bit of housework done.
vw, I liked the Hotsling I had when Owen was a newborn. But when my back gave me problems, I had to stop using slings and carriers. I found a particular type of bouncy seat (Fisher Price vibrating rocker) which had a kickstand to use as sort of a bassinet/chair. And when they got bigger, converted to a more traditional bouncy seat/rocker.
Owen, I carried or held most of the time. With Liv, I had less of a chance, so she tended to fuss more before she got picked up. Eventually, all parents learn their groove and learn to get stuff done (or learn what doesn't have to get done) in time.
Zenkitty, are you still on gmail?
I got a message about the Breath...write-a-thon.
Most parents can tell the difference between fussing to be picked up and fussing because of a problem. I would gate the kids out of the kitchen when I was cooking at times because my kitchen was not a safe place in the old house. Bobby was a consummate actor and it was impossible to tell when he had a real issue. He still can convince you he is clueless about the disappearance of the cookies with crumbs on his shirt and melted chocolate on his cheeks. He was screaming at the kitchen gate and I was doing stuff and ignoring him (not for long, just to put stuff in the oven) and the child had his finger pinched in the gate. guilt guilt guilt
One thing, vw, is that as a new parent I would have been easily annoyed by childless friends or family members giving me advice. Or even childed friends or family members giving me advice (like, say, my mother.) I was soooo touchy about being judged for my parenting skills or lack thereof. So I suggest you tread carefully. Pointing them at a web site - like Ask Moxie which several of us have found useful - might be a tactful way to help without being too helpful, you know?
This post in particular might be helpful: [link]
Also, this: [link]
One thing, vw, is that as a new parent I would have been easily annoyed by childless friends or family members giving me advice.
I am *really* careful about giving what seems to be advice. I try to be supportive. But, apparently, last night that came off as dismissive. So, I'm trying to add some knowledge to my support. That's all. I don't even pretend to know what I'm talking about, so I've just not even opened my mouth. Apparently, my brother knows me as usually having an opinion, so he thought that when I didn't have anything to say, it was because I didn't have anything nice to say, which wasn't the case. So, trying to at least change that, so I can say, "Wow, well that sounds totally normal, from what I've heard my friends say."
I was soooo touchy about being judged for my parenting skills or lack thereof.
This was (is? but I'm getting better) so me. My SIL is pregnant with her first and every time I've offered any sort of advice/whatever, I always preface it with about 4-5 this-worked-for-me-I'm-not-judging-of-course- you-have-to-do-it-your-own-way-this-may-not-fit-your-situation type statements.
I'm so angry at my dad right now, I could drive to his McMansion and kick his nads into his chest cavity.(But of course, if I could do that he wouldn't ignore me so much in the first place.) It's not so much that what he did now is so heinous; people make mistakes, forget things, etc. But why does it have to be me...every single time.
Aw, hell, erika. I can't kick his nads into his chest cavity either, but I could make prank calls from England and yell
COCKSUCKAH!!!
at him in my best Iain McShane voice?