This former rural girl showed off for the college boys by drinking them under the table and then going home alone without exposing herself to anyone!

Yes, but how many women dare aspire to Shriftian standards. Not many.

One of the more amusing clashes of cultures from a university out in the boondocks was the night the zombies met the flasher girls. Like many college towns, we have a zombie walk every year on some random night close to Halloween. People dress as zombies and gather on campus, then wander the downtown as a staggering, moaning, mob. It’s fun to follow the zombies, and watch people’s reactions: there is some screaming when they burst through the back doors of bars; pedestrians will see them, turn, and hurry away in another direction; occasionally a car will approach, turn around, and go the other way. Just to be safe, I guess. It’s considered to be good manners to buy a particularly picturesque zombie a drink, because carrying a purse, wallet or credit card detracts from zombie style, and they must rely on the kindness of non-zombies.

One year the zombies were approaching the downtown square when a pickup truck full of drunk and apparently fearless girls pulled up to look at them. The two groups stared at each other for a moment and then tried to communicate. Zombies: “Uhhh!!!” Girls: “Party!!!” (flash breasts). Zombies: “Uhhh!!!!” (much moaning and Zombie gesticulation). Girls: “Zombie Party!!!” (flash and bounce. and bounce again). Zombies: “Uhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (Frenetic zombie movements, groans, ripping of tattered clothing, and tripping over dragged legs).

This odd conversation went on for a couple more cycles, until the girls sped off. It was one of the strangest social interactions I’ve ever seen. I guess it’s true that college helps to broaden your cultural horizons.

Maybe Tom Cruise suspected that the crewmember was a Slitheen.

We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried.

Pete Wentz is a BNF who slashes himself with his best friend. He makes it up before I can think it.

Maybe Tom Cruise suspected that the crewmember was a Slitheen.

That risks making Tom Cruise way too cool.

I don't know which is funnier, imagining the fart or imagining Cruise going "OK, who did that!"

The silence was filmed and now Cruise and the producers will go through the footage to identify the culprit, who is likely to be fired.

How do they intend to find the person by looking at film footage? Look for a puff of smoke around the ass area??

How do they intend to find the person by looking at film footage?

Find the person with a neo-Nazi-esque look of triumph for having spoiled such a sacred moment?

Or anyone who's snickering. Or who looks relieved.

Or anyone who's snickering. Or who looks relieved.

Or seeing if anyone smelt it. Because that person most likely dealt it.

Look for a puff of smoke around the ass area??

Goodness, what kinds of gas are YOU passing? Unless they were all in a bathtub, the emitted evidence itself should not be visible. Right?

I cannot explain it, but the mere idea of Tom Cruise indignant in a gigantic bathtub, surrounded by bubbles and red-faced crew, the crew possibly in hip-waders as they ready their fluffy microphones and cameras, is making me laugh so hard I cry.

It's evil gas. Perhaps it shows up.

From IMDB:

George Clooney has warned new girlfriend Sarah Larson he'll never marry her, because all his relationships are doomed to failure. After divorcing Talia Balsam in 1993, the 46-year-old heartthrob has had a succession of short term flings - and he confesses he is a commitment-phobe. He says, "I'm never at home and every woman gets sick of it. If I was them, I wouldn't put up with me for too long - and they don't. I wonder if I'm going to be relegated to three-year relationships for the rest of my life. My trouble is that I keep taking jobs that take me further away from home."

See, I'd totally "settle" for a series of three year relationships, were I built adequately. Settle for three Clooney years? Where the hell do I sign up?

Also:

Boston-based Brigham's Ice Cream Co. has announced the results of a survey it conducted over the summer to create a top-ten list of one-liners in movies. From what it said were thousands of entries, it narrowed the list to these:
1. "Are you talkin' to ME?," Taxi Driver;
2. "Go ahead. "Make my day," Dirty Harry;
3. "Here's lookin' at you, kid," Casablanca;
4. "I'll be back," The Terminator;
5. "I'll have what she's having," When Harry Met Sally;
6. "Life is like a box of chocolates," Forrest Gump;
7. "May the force be with you," Star Wars;
8. "You can't handle the truth!," A Few Good Men;
9. "You had me at hello," Jerry McGuire;
10. "You're gonna need a bigger boat!," Jaws.
Conspicuously missing from the list was perhaps the most famous movie line of all: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," from Gone with the Wind, and the historic, "You ain't heard nothin' yet," from The Jazz Singer, the first sound movie. (And some may wonder about the non-inclusion of Garbo's "I vant to be alone" from Grand Hotel and the single word "Rosebud" from Citizen Kane.

I wonder how many of the people who got the Taxi Driver quote to the top have seen the movie?