I was happy today, until I realized that I have no bacon.

Now, like my bacon, happiness gone.

Now I'm feeling sorry for those poor girls who simultaneously have a muffin top, whale tale and tramp stamp.

::snerk::

I have one particular pair of jeans that always present me with the following quandary: muffin top vs. camel toe. If I adjust my pants to avoid one, it causes the other.

The real fault, of course, lies not with the jeans, but with my buddha. A little less jiggle around the middle, and I wouldn't have *either* muffin top OR camel toe.

BaconSalt once bit my sister.

I have cancer of the gronk

All the vegetarians at the Humane Society are going wild over the idea of veggie bacon salt, according to my gf...

Cash, what is your tattoo?

Random Note From Moving: I'm both happy it's so easy to change my address online, and a little frightened by that too...

I feel my lack of bacon keenly, below the cockles of my heart and above my intestines, in that place which rumbles, "Feed me, Seymour."

Cash, what is your tattoo?

It's a gecko. I need to get a better quality picture.

I had bacon yesterday. It was quite good. In fact, I can still picture it, laying on the plate next to the eggs and sausage and hashed browns, all fresh and warm and crispy....

I'm dying of grading cancer.

My lower back tat is occasionally visible at work because my job regularly involves getting things down from tall shelves and/or bending down to lift boxes off the floor. It's certainly more frequently visible than my chest tat, neither of which strike me as particularly trampy.

I just had a grilled cheese & bacon sandwich for lunch! Nummy!

I had the weirdest/hilarious/humiliating thing happen at my friend's b'day party this Saturday. I walked into the party, which was at her house, carrying a bunch of stuff and this woman I've met once before walked towards me. She was on her way out I guess. I said "hi" to her and she made like she was going to pat my belly and said something like "when are you due?" I gawked at her and said, "Uh are you implying that I look pregnant?!"

She kind of laughed, not like she was embarassed but like she'd thought she'd been making a joke, and said that "people say that to me all the time."

I asked her "what the fuck is wrong with you???" and walked away. And it immediately became funny as hell because WTF? Who says something like that?

Thank god I was wearing something that I felt comfortable in and not like a new dress that I'd never be able to wear again. FTR, I looked like this: [link]

I had added a note that said "baby bump?" but I guess my friend deleted it.

um....how was everybody else's weekend?