Gah, Laga, I know it sucks to watch someone you love in a bad relationship. Sometimes, I think it just seems scarier to be alone. A fucked up routine is at least a routine. It's easier to know what to expect.

I can't tell you how many times I was sure L was ready to get out before she actually did.

Things get marginally better, and the relationship just seems safer than trying to navigate divorce, new routines, paying whatever housing payments and bills. It can all just be really overwhelming to face, even if they know there are people who are willing to carry them through it.

the relationship just seems safer than trying to navigate divorce, new routines, paying whatever housing payments and bills. It can all just be really overwhelming to face, even if they know there are people who are willing to carry them through it.

Nods.

Are there kids?

laga!!!! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

No kids but the hosebrain :just: got a job so maybe she wants to try to get back some of the money she lost over the past year. I don't think she's ever had a relationship that didn't result in a financial loss for her.

We chalked L's losses up to the "jackass tax." We all pay it one way or another.

Yeah. I still owe some jackass taxes myself.

My office moved from Santa Monica to Culver City over the weekend. Today was the first day in the new office. We now have open seating (read: cubicle-land). I miss my window and my office door.

We chalked L's losses up to the "jackass tax." We all pay it one way or another.

Word. But, after all, it's just money. Which is important, but less so than being in a bad, potentially abusive relationship.

I don't know if I can do this. I don't think sisters should stay married to people who say "there is nothing your sister can ever do to make me respect her". If there's a chance in hell she is staying with this man I don't think I can be her sister anymore.

But, Laga, she needs you now more than she knows. I was married to a guy who did not respect me and cheated on me and it was hell. I loved him even though he was emotionally toxic. I knew I chose him and that knowledge and the stress of living with him made me distrust all my feelings and judgments. In order to gain back my center, I REALLY needed love. People who did not stop loving me because I had made an incredibly stupid mistake.

There is no reason why you should ever spend another second around the Asswipe husband if you don't want to, but I urge you to think about pulling away from her at this point.