We chalked L's losses up to the "jackass tax." We all pay it one way or another.

Word. But, after all, it's just money. Which is important, but less so than being in a bad, potentially abusive relationship.

I don't know if I can do this. I don't think sisters should stay married to people who say "there is nothing your sister can ever do to make me respect her". If there's a chance in hell she is staying with this man I don't think I can be her sister anymore.

But, Laga, she needs you now more than she knows. I was married to a guy who did not respect me and cheated on me and it was hell. I loved him even though he was emotionally toxic. I knew I chose him and that knowledge and the stress of living with him made me distrust all my feelings and judgments. In order to gain back my center, I REALLY needed love. People who did not stop loving me because I had made an incredibly stupid mistake.

There is no reason why you should ever spend another second around the Asswipe husband if you don't want to, but I urge you to think about pulling away from her at this point.

I wish I had something more helpful to say. I think if it is driving you this nuts, you may need to take a step back and tell her how much it's hurting you and that you need to not be involved for a while.

I don't think I would tell her you can't be her sister, but I do think you should let her know how this is negatively affecting you and that you can't have that.

I still have that apology email he sent. I'm thinking of replying to it, "you once told me (and my mother) that there was nothing I could ever do or say to make me respect you. Has something changed?"

Of course I sent it to Mom for her opinion first.

I still have that apology email he sent. I'm thinking of replying to it, "you once told me (and my mother) that there was nothing I could ever do or say to make me respect you. Has something changed?"

He fully deserves it, and much more beside, but there's probably not much percentage in engaging with him at all anymore. Your sister, yes, but not him. I'm sorry it is all so awful for your whole family.

Aw, Robin, I knew your first marriage was bad but I had no idea how deeply bleak it was for you. Now I love your true and actual and real DH for being so very, very D. You deserve every bit of goodness he can lavish on you; fortunately, he's blessed with an abundance of goodness.

I want to go to Prague. Motherland + amazing architecture + beer

I want to go back to Prague for the same reason.

t waves at fellow Czechs

I'm so glad Robin now has the partner she deserves.

Why is it that the non-jackasses pay so much more jackass tax than the jackasses?

Isn't subsidized jackassery the American Dream?

It's the nature of the jackass tax. You either pay it in time or money or both.

Laga, I think it is fair to say to your sister that you don't want to deal with her husband . You don't like the way he treats her, or anyone else in your family. You have received his apology, but you have doubts. I think you can let her know that you love her, are worried about her, but for your sake/health/sanity - you don't want to see him. and that you are not going to pretend you are ok with him and his treatment of her. and then let her know tha tyou know this is going to mess up thanksgiivng/ xmas/other family gatherings, but that is the way it has to be. Obviously the details are up to you. But if you were ever close to your sister -give her room to come back.