Does anybody want to take a crack at the new language for the FAQ/Etiquette on this?

I’m having a thought as I’ve been reading these threads for weeks (and never saw the deleted offending posts until Cindy was able to grab them from the magic machine), and that is that in my experience, people are open to learning more easily by reading discourse on a subject rather than being confronted personally by it.

I don’t know a single person who learned immediately by being yelled at or feeling cornered into change (I’m aware no one yelled at Laura or Katie B, and I think SJ was right to speak up, and am not litigating that aspect); rather the growth that usually takes place is over time, and allowed space for a person to “get it” so that it’s a choice rather than a surrender.

The reason I say this, is that at first the idea of a separate thread seemed like a poor idea, but reading back on the last several posts here between Glam and Hec? That kind of discussion can be very useful for others to read, contemplate, reflect on, and absorb. All in a way where you don’t actually have to screw up and be called on it (and thus not be in the most receiving mindset) in order to learn.

For example, if we opened up such a thread and called it “examinations on evolving” or something (that is a terrible title! But it’s the connotation I’m going for), I could totally go there and say “hey! I used to love this joke as a kid that Joan Rivers would tell and now I realize that it’s racist even though I never in a million years thought it was before. But I asked one of my Chinese friends about and she says it is. And also it’s fat phobic. Way to go, Joan Rivers, and way to go me for not realizing that on my own for like 30 years.” No one would need to be confronted, but I could relay an embarrassing little anecdote and folks could passively learn from my experience being a jackass.

I don’t think an extensive rewrite of the etiquette policies are needed. This isn’t a troll situation. And Cindy’s right; these are al friends. And we love each other and don’t want to hurt each other. And sometimes we hurt each other anyway, and need to learn that and apologize. I think that can happen, but it can’t be forced or legislated.

And I appreciate everyone who’s taken the time and been patient with the situation. It’s clear you care very much. ETA: I just realized lightbulbs is closed on the thread idea. I guess it stays in Natter thread. I just know lots of folks don’t go into the Natter threads (I do a occasionally but not often) and maybe wouldn’t read the language discussions, but that’s probably fine.

FWIW, I envisioned the thread exactly as you describe if, javachik. Not a “call out” thread, but an educational thread for all of us.

That's definitely how you presented it, Glam.

Is the consensus to add a paragraph at the beginning of Etiquette? Anyone want to volunteer to draft it?

Is the consensus to add a paragraph at the beginning of Etiquette?

Yes, I think so.

FWIW, I envisioned the thread exactly as you describe if, javachik. Not a “call out” thread, but an educational thread for all of us.

That’s great. I mean, I know it’s a moot point now, but wanted you to know.

I don't want to add work to Gud's plate, but I think the first step needs to be migrating the FAQ/Etiquette pages from the old board over to this version?

I agree, Jess. I think we need to ask Gud to please prioritize adding the FAQ, Site Etiquette, and Law-Speak pages linked in the left-hand sidebar.

I would suggest archiving most of the FAQ, and repurposing some into a how-to page, or just leave it to the quick-edit page linked above the posting box.

I think Gud might have mentioned something about mods being able to upload files themselves?