I just crack up when she calls herself a Svengali and a Mother Theresa. Drink whenever she aggrandizes in personal interview! Or at any time, really.

I did *not* like her horrible casting call critiques on the women though. But when she's snarking on the dudes, I'm laughing.

I watched a little bit of Matchmaker, but think it's probably not my show. Nearly everyone irritated me.

On Runway, so unsurprised by Rami. I think it's interesting that they chose to let him hang on the runway when announcing the twist. And I hope that Chris blows him away. I adore Chris, and thought that dress was gorgeous. If he'd even just toned the shoulder down a bit, I think it would have been great. I agreed with Jillian's marshmallow comment, but called that it would win.

On Supermodel, Perry! Dude. He didn't even let her express whatever it was she wanted to ask about. She thought he'd cheated on her, right? He wouldn't even let her ask the question, but wanted huge affirmations from her.

I do think the fishbowl thing is such an interesting element. I would go nuts watching from the sidelines, realtime, for a show like this. I missed one of the intervening episodes, but since Bravo repeats eighteen billion times I'll catch up with it later. It's like a social experiment, really.

What else? Still loving Mythbusters!

Perkins, it was kind of funny in an idiotic way. The Jen (who is a crazy piece of work) and the boyfriend decided the way to keep [girl I can't remember - Ryan's partner] from telling everyone they are a couple was to ... tell everyone that they're a couple. It worked about as well as can be expected and they're both on the block this week.

Oops. Totally predictable, though.

I just crack up when she calls herself a Svengali and a Mother Theresa.

Hilarious. A coworker said she got similar personal maintenance advice from a matchmaker here -- always get your hair and makeup done for dates! Dude, seriously.

All I can think about on BB is the clip I saw from the feeds of Jen and Ryan Doing It in the bathroom with Parker (? -- Jen's partner) sitting outside waiting to pee.

All I can think about on BB is the clip I saw from the feeds of Jen and Ryan Doing It in the bathroom with Parker (? -- Jen's partner) sitting outside waiting to pee.

ha! TACK-EEE!

I enjoy BB through you guys and the TWoP recaps. I don't think I could watch it though.

They're showing that right now. And IFew!

(Best parts:

Jen, overheard from outside the door: We gotta get off this toilet. t flushing sound

Parker: It was a little disturbing...cause then I knew she's gonna get her funky ass in the bed with me.)

PS Also! They have a cuddle lounge!

What's funny is they didn't show Parker going, "Yeah, you know they're going to zoom in on the 'occupied' sign, and then show the two of you coming out of there!"

Okay, this is freaking hysterical. Two people were shown to be an existing couple. Two others decided to *pretend* to be an existing couple (since that's working out so well for the first two tools). Now they're all convinced that everybody but them is in an existing hidden relationship. Madness! Dogs and morons cats living together!

Ok, y'all I feel so badly. I actually took notes on AI. And it is so not worthy, but seriously, most of these dudes were so anonymous for me that I was afraid I wouldn't remember any of them if I didn't.

General impressons: This crop of guys sucks ass. Not that this is an unusual thing for AI. But seriously, "best singers ever?" I don't think so.

And since I now have like three pages of notes on craptastic AI performances, I'm just gonna talk about my top 3 and bottom 3:

Bottom: (and really there were almost too many to limit it to just 3)

Chikezie – I Love You More Today than Yesterday

Ok, orange suit? Just, no . . . no. Also, you are flat all over the place. And what the hell song is this? Oh, this is not good. Ah, finally caught what song it was. Now it’s even worse. You have done something unrecognizably, unspeakably bad to this song. Why, why would you do that? Uh oh. Paula’s first “You look great . . . Your smile’s infectious.” That just means it’s bad. Did Simon just call him “Jacuzzi”? Cause that’s great! Eeww, and he’s mouthy. Buh-bye, Jacuzzi. Simon’s totally right.

Jason Yeager – Moon River

Singing waiter, huh? Cute kid. Am sad that he sang Oh, Mary Don’t You Weep for his audition. It is such a choral piece to me . . . does not lend itself to solo vocals. Oh no, Moon River. So, so cheesy. He doesn’t have a bad voice, but seriously, so, so cheesy. Oh god, the teeth. They scare me with their Osmond-esqe luminescence. I bet that slays at the diner, though. (As usual, Simon is right)

Luke Menard

Don’t know this dude at all. His audition sucked ass. Ok, this dude can’t sing. AT ALL. So sad to waste all that pretty. He kinda sounds like a broke down Kenny Loggins. Oh, that “stone”. Was there even a note in there at all? I recognize this song (don’t remember the name) only by the guitar. And the less said about that last note, the better. Luke, you suck ass. He was bad enough to make Randy explain what he means by pitchy. Oh, that’s perfect. (Damn, now I’m on Paula’s wavelength with the Kenny Loggins thing – that’s depressing). One of the worst of the night.

Top: (Again, term used loosely)

Robbie Carrico – One is the Loneliest Number

Another fake rocker? Le sigh. Also, he looks nast-y! Where is the eye candy? If you’re not gonna be good, at least be pretty. Well, he’s got a good voice. But the bandana is killing me. Killing me. He’s also the first person with a lot of energy and who seems to realize that he’s actually giving a performance. I guess the Brit-Brit experience is paying off because girl can’t sing, but she did used to be able to put on a show. It was good. One of the best so far (not that that’s saying much). And Simon and I agree again. Like JT, Ryan? Not even on his BEST best day.

David Archuleta – Shop Around

Alright. Dammit, teeny bopper. You won me over in Hollywood, now you better deliver. OMG! He sang Irene Cara in his interview. He’s so cute! Fine, I give up David Archuleta. You got the EEEEEEE! You are a bundle of cuteness. There are some funky notes going on in his lower register though, if I’m being honest. Ugh, and it begins already. “Only 17? Yo, dawg, yo.” I cannot take a whole nother season of this.

Jason Castro – What a Day for a Daydream

Oh, no. Someone’s playing an instrument? I thought they ended that shit in Hollywood. I’m gonna be hot if these shenanigans carry on into the top 12. If I wanted to watch Rock Star, I’d be petitioning CBS to bring back Dave and the Carmen Electra wannabe. Oh. Dreadlock boy. Hmm. Well, let’s see what you’re working with. Ok, cute. Interesting voice. He’s very likeable with a nice, pleasant voice. Nice tone. He’s good. Ok, the last notes kinda petered out. But on a night of not great, pleasant looks like phenomenal.

Also, I love Danny Noriega and I thought he turned it out. Don't care what Simon thinks.

Well, the girls had better come with it tomorrow (continued...)

( continues...) night, because the boys stunk up the joint.

And since I went over anyway, let me say that David Hernandez has a nice voice but also has anti-charisma. I almost fell asleep while he was singing, and he really, really needs to get rid of the stick up his ass. The wannabe Daughtry can leave any time now. You sang Edwin McCain. You have no more cred left to you. Colton Berry continues the string of young, gay boys with pleasant drama club voices. Yawn. And Michael Johns is overrated. He was shouty and off key in several places.

Whew. Glad I got that off my chest.