That was GROSS. And then it popped back in on its own! Blech.

Yipes.

Re: The Voice: Good job, America.

SYTYCD Notes so far:

So You Think You Can Daaanncceee! Ah, my people. My people.

Things I loved just about the cold opening: All the past seasons’ dancers, yes, even Dom (cause it’s early, y’all!). And of course the lovely and talented Cat Deeley!! She is everything. JTF at the judges table and glimpses of new guest judges to come. Was that Minnie Driver? Why? And Wayne Brady? Is he gonna choke a bitch? Can it be Mary?

It’s LA. Bring it, you lean and hungry types.

Duchon(AKA Fik Shun) – Despite my immediate hate for the name, he’s a cutie. He reminds me of Leroy from Fame. And wow, he is a cCrazy good popper. The body control on this kid is ricidulous. The smooth glides are also fun. He is money, this kid. Charisma like what? I am having fun with him. And oh my, the chest isolations where he was bent over and then he brought the head with it? He is doing stuff that just looks physically impossible…and with a million watt smile on his face. Love this kid. I’m in. Here’s hoping he can pick up choreography.

Malece – She’s a Utah girl so at least she should have solid technique. And she’s rocking the cute little blonde pixie cut that Anne Hathaway wishes she were rocking right now. The short hair should cut down on the hair flinging at least. Bonus points for the funny. Ha! I like you, not deaf Malece. Sadly, she’s just OK as a dancer. She has some skill, but she’s very choppy. Way more tumbling than dancing. Her center is not great. The connections between moves are not great; she lacks fluidity. I think she should go to choreo. She needs more seasoning. Thank you, Mary. The transitions were hinky as fuck. I can’t believe they didn’t make her do choreo. Oh, well, she’ll be out on the first jazz round in Vegas. She needs to cook more.

Dance Break: Farrah Fawcett feathered hair girl, red t-shirt boy, top knot girl . . . They all seemed OK not stellar. I won’t be keeping an eye out for any of them in Vegas.

Paul Kamiryan – SYTYCD Armenia. He’s a winner baby! Awesome. I want to watch that. Come on Latin ballroom kid. Let’s do this. Although, if you think SYTYCD Armenia really prepared you to be on Original Flavor SYTYCD, I would beg to differ. The camera work in this audition was really weird. Why did they keep cutting away from him? He’s good, though. He’s giving me a kind of Benji vibe. Another good but not great. They’ve definitely had much stronger latin ballroom kids before. He seems like a much better singles dancer than a partner dancer. Aaaand, Nigel is on the same wavelength as me. I don’t know if I like that.

Elijah Laurant – Oh, honey. You are so talented but right now you look like a total jackass with that tutu around your neck. You don’t need it, Boo. Just go out there and trust your talent. You can turn it out. He actually would’ve done better without the prop because fooling around with it took away from his dancing. But leaping for joy at being called androgynous during his judges’ critiques? OK. That was a whole world of oh my gosh, why are you so cute? I would like to see him do partner work. I’m nervous about that. I’m guessing he hasn’t done much of it before.

Dance Break – You’re going to choreo: Latin ballroom couple – the girl was a firecracker, the boy was just there. Break dance white girl all bent over…yeah, I couldn’t tell. Rapa Nui! What? He’s awesome. I hope he can do choreo because he’s soooo pretty. Thank you, JTF, for overruling Nigel.

Taylor Ward – Went into dance a few months ago? I don’t understand her story. Did she just start dancing a few months ago? Did she dance and do sports when she was little or what? And also, this sob story is tired. The grandfather was an old ass man. Old ass men die. Am I to be sad now? I don’t think so. But whoops, I did get kinda sad watching that practice session. Holy shit! That knee just popped right out. Wonder if she did that in softball or dance initially. Naturally loose joints. Ah. I’ve seen that happen in class before. Hurts like hell. Good on her for pressing on. Too bad her audition was nothing special. Very (continued...)

( continues...) Conference 101 dancer. I don’t think she will make the show, but maybe she can bring more when she’s not injured? Wow. I can’t believe they are putting her through to choreo. They’d have sent her straight home for not being good enough if she hadn’t fucked up her knee. Mmmmph.

Dance Break III: Dance! - Wanted to see more of Asian ballerina girl for sure. The blonde is whatever.

Morris Isby – I just don’t like him. He’s not good enough to be that arrogant. They’ve had way better b-boys on the show before. Eh. I’m not impressed. The elbow spin was dope. I’ll give him that. That’s about it, though.

Dance Break IV tha Streets: Liked all the Montage street dancer kids better than him, especially the girl in the plaid and the boy in the yellow sweats? Hype.

Armin – Dammit, Russians. Oh, wow. I just can’t. I cannot with the rapping and the video and the swimsuit models washing cars. This kid is hilarious! And as for dancing, one look at him and I know he can smash it. Wow. He is everything. Sharp. The feet are amazeballs. He is bringing me that Pasha-ness that I do enjoy. I’m all in for Armin. I love that Mary shut down all conversation and passed him straight through to Vegas. Excellent. Armin is the business.

Great 18ers/Eric and Lorenzo – Don’t care about your work with the kids. Bring It. So I see that they are trying to be very LXD. I see them, but they are soo derivative of other, better crews. And none of them individually are good enough to make the show. The judges totally bs’ed them, “We don’t want to take you away from your world and your work in schools.” Umm, they are not good enough to make this show. Just come real with these kids.

Choreo round – It’s Sasha. Yay! Oh, she is going to give it to them. And Marko. Kiddies, if they are All Stars this year, I will be so happy. As expected, Morris Isby bombed choreo. Good because I hated him. Go home. And Wounded Knee goes to Vegas. Huh. OK. I still think she’ll be gone after the first couple of rounds.

That’s it? Where’s my two hour premiere. Boo. I don’t wanna wait ‘til tomorrow night for Detroit and Twitch on the judges panel. Whoo hoo! I loved that even more than my walk in closet.

The Voice.

I have a serious serious hate-on for Josiah, ESPECIALLY after seeing Robin Thicke perform. I mean he pales in comparison to Thicke and he so wants to be him. That has to be my biggest disappointment. I want him eliminated so badly I can taste it. Anyone else I either like or don't care.

This show was made all the more suspenseful for me because I had no idea how many people they were eliminating. At first I thought it was 8, then 4, then I didn't know WTF was going on. I just got back from out of town for the weekend, that's my excuse.

Man, I loved that Robin Thicke song.

I bought it on Amazon right after it was performed.

Gordon Ramsay walks off of Kitchen Nightmares because the restaurant owners were too crazy: [link]

The owners were too crazy for Gordon Ramsay.

That's hardcore.

Buzzfeed has screengrabs of the epic Facebook/Yelp/Reddit tantrum:

[link]