My husband was 15 years my senior, married, father of three and a smoker when we met. The very definition of not-my-type. 2 years later, we were married and it was possibly the greatest gift of my entire gift-laden life.
That being said, I tend to adhere to something I once heard Oprah say,"When someone tells you who they are early on...believe them.
JZ makes an important point...it isn't generally the social-order labels we use, like political affiliations, that end up being the problem.
When someone says,"Oh, people say I'm _____." THAT is the thing that will end up being problematic.
Fela is perfect for me on paper. Compatibility on all those social labels (religion, politics like whoa, geekdom, dog lover, even perfect sex!) but in the very beginning, he told me that he had attachment issues, was 'oblivious' and believed he had something wrong with his brain.
THOSE things ended up superceding stripes that might have changed. Hey, even Senators can switch political parties, but self-doubt and habits we cling too? Those things take cosmic dynamite to change, if they ever do.
Good luck with Senor Sock, tommyrot, however it may go.
Had two fun photo ops yesterday: Kat holding Noah, and dorkfest at Star Wars Celebration IV.
We have friends working this event, covering EVERYTHING - here's the official blog photostream and the official blog.
Star Wars Celebration IV.
I *love* the Darth Vader helmets!!!
I'm very sorry to hear about Señor Sock, tommyrot.
The Vader helmets were really really cool. Here's more on The Vader Project.
Thanks for all the kitty well-wishes. I feel like I'm just biding my time until the afternoon when I'll call the hospital again.
Loved the Star Wars pictures. I'm not sure which I liked more - the little girl in glasses and Leia costume, or the somewhat heavy guy in the Leia slave bikini costume.
I kind of agree with everybody. Bottom line as I see it: Wedding ring as recently as 2 weeks ago? Red flag. Do not fuck. Chat up, maybe. Keep on hold pending further info. Do not give key to apartment or cell phone number.
In general: Romance is worth the risk of heartache. It's not worth the risk of some psycho stalking you. You've just got to take enough time to figure out which one will likely result if the relationship doesn't work out. If your gut sends danger signals, listen.
Also, you'll never know what's really going on until you meet the ex.
She
might be the psycho.
For myself, I had to learn not only where I needed to put some boundaries, but where I could push them and where I should not. I think everyone has to decide/learn those things themselves, and no one's experience with that will be exactly the same as anyone else's.
Of course, I'm the person who moved from Virginia to New Jersey to move in with a guy I'd only spent one weekend with before. Perhaps I'm no help either. The relationship lasted for two years, ended painfully, and we ended up remaining good friends. Ultimately a win/win. He took a chance on me, too. Was probably the first real risk he ever took.
and, meara:
Aw, tommy, so sorry about Senor! I hope they figure out what's wrong and he gets better soon!
Yay, ita, eating!
Yay babies in onesies! So amazing, they are.
Although I'm not a "baby" person, I find holding babies to be very relaxing. You know, until they poo.
Loving the Star Wars Celebration photos.
You can't fix stupid.
This has become my mantra.
cosmic dynamite
I love this phrase. May I use it?
