I kind of agree with everybody. Bottom line as I see it: Wedding ring as recently as 2 weeks ago? Red flag. Do not fuck. Chat up, maybe. Keep on hold pending further info. Do not give key to apartment or cell phone number.
In general: Romance is worth the risk of heartache. It's not worth the risk of some psycho stalking you. You've just got to take enough time to figure out which one will likely result if the relationship doesn't work out. If your gut sends danger signals, listen.
Also, you'll never know what's really going on until you meet the ex.
She
might be the psycho.
For myself, I had to learn not only where I needed to put some boundaries, but where I could push them and where I should not. I think everyone has to decide/learn those things themselves, and no one's experience with that will be exactly the same as anyone else's.
Of course, I'm the person who moved from Virginia to New Jersey to move in with a guy I'd only spent one weekend with before. Perhaps I'm no help either. The relationship lasted for two years, ended painfully, and we ended up remaining good friends. Ultimately a win/win. He took a chance on me, too. Was probably the first real risk he ever took.
and, meara:
Aw, tommy, so sorry about Senor! I hope they figure out what's wrong and he gets better soon!
Yay, ita, eating!
Yay babies in onesies! So amazing, they are.
Although I'm not a "baby" person, I find holding babies to be very relaxing. You know, until they poo.
Loving the Star Wars Celebration photos.
You can't fix stupid.
This has become my mantra.
cosmic dynamite
I love this phrase. May I use it?
Let's see - I dated one woman who was separated. We met online, and she insisted we didn't meet f2f until her divorce was finalized (which meant we met f2f about a week later than we otherwise would have). Then there's been once or twice when a woman who was "separated" expressed an interest in me but it turned out she was kinda' leading me on (she had been exaggerating the separatedness and downplaying the chance she'd back together with the person).
cosmic dynamite
I love this phrase. May I use it?
Of course. It would be my honor.
sending out the purrs to Senor Sock.
yay babies . and yay eating.
As far as taking risk in romance I believe in following instincts ,( which is not the same as hormones). You can make up rules,because they help you remember and /or articulate why something is a problem. I don't every remember making any rules are red flags - but then I never did a long term dating. But I tend to move very slowly, so not too many guys stuck around. Knowing your own tendencies is probably the better way to make a judgment on suspected red flags
In terms of separated. It depends. My Brother is recently divoriced, but it took time for the divorce to become final even though they had a signed agreement about the divorce and were just waiting for court approval. But they specifically put in the separation agreement that there was no hope of reconciliation, that the separation was just until the divorce became final and that they were both free to see other people. (It was very much NOT a friendly divorce-in spite of being able to agree on all the legal issues, they really dislike each other. Fortunately no mutual kids are involved.) Obviously this does not translate into "took off wedding ring two weeks ago" is a good risk. But I would say separation by itself should not automatically be a warning flag; how big a risk it is depends on circumstances of the sepearation.
Mojito cupcakes are of the yum. The bakery near Lori's house makes them every so often and I like 'em well enough. Not MORE than red velvet though.
Oh, Tommy! I so hope it doesn't come to that.
Tommy - I'm so sorry for the continuing bad news.
