I think it really comes down to how old does a kid have to be in order to outrun you

If they're coming from infinite directions (or, well, all of them), then outrunning is less of a possibility. Well, evading them by outrunning them is.

Yeah! Where are they coming from? Where's the font of babies? The horizons? One point? Wherever you're not looking?

SAVE ME!

How about the Smallville theme song, then?

This question is a good repeat one... I mean, it's not silverware or serial comma, but still a good one.

My favorite repeat question involves Nutty, a squash court, and a cheetah.

so my second assumption is that Iris is doing my job for me.

we all assume that sometimes. her new nickname is 'management'.

Because with the toddlers, they only have the power to kill you if you feel responsible for them and want to try to take care of them

Seriously, no. If you are surrounded by toddlers, especially if you are holding a toy that they all want, it does not matter if you feel responsible for them or not. Plus, there's the noise. And the chatter.

The start for a running list of ways that they could do it (aside from in the drawing room, with a candlestick):

• They could kill you with blunt repetition.
• or with the much-used whine-you-to-death strategy
• They could ignore you to death.
• They could seriously wound you about the kneecaps with their sweet, but really bony heads.
• ... [Cashmere? you in?]

Unless the infinite plain has a water source, then everybody dies of dehydration or asphyxiates if there isn't adequate ventilation.

It's possible I'm over thinking this.

I dunno Sox, I've been surrounded by toddlers on many occasion (like 20 or 30), and I'm fairly sure the main reason I stayed there, even when the whining and the biting started, was my own desire to be near them and care for them. I don't think they'd be an organized killing machine. But I bet 5 year olds could do it.

Burrell's tag is especially appropriate for this discussion.

I have whistling stuck in my head. Which is weird.

Toddler shrieks. Those can liquify your brain.

oh no Burrell - sorry! I was working on the assumption that there was actually no feeling of responsibility... totally impossible here -

6. They can cover you with sticky stuff... like popsickle drippings.

Five year olds - aieee.

There's a little shrieker in my neighborhood, but she's older than toddler -- I'd guess K or 1st grade. But still -- OMG the shrieking.