Since I don't have kids, I'm assuming none of them are mine. The only toddler I'm related to is Sox's, and she (eta: the toddler, not Sox) tells me to eat my broccoli more often than I tell her to do so, so my second assumption is that Iris is doing my job for me.

or something like that.

I'm assuming none of them are mine.

Unless you're shorter than them, some of them will come to you for assistance.

I don't know if not being related to them makes it easier to bear or not. I've found the right kid can make blood ties irrelevant (or unbearable).

Unless you're shorter than them

Well, since I'm under 5', some of them will assume I'm another kid.

I'm guessing that Darwin logic would kick in and I'd want to save the kid that might share some genes with me.

Last weekend the Toddler Cabal seemed to be working on their world domination plan - everywhere I went there seemed to be toddlers testing their power over their minions (aka parents or attendant adults).

I really think the key part of the scenario is the INFINITE NUMBER part! Terrifying at any age.

Working from home today was a brilliant idea. Of course, I'm not working yet, but I feel AWESOME.

SOMEONE MUST HELP!

earworm for 2 days - Dreaming of you by Selena. Broken off only briefly by A Moment Like This by Kelly Clarkson.

SAVE ME!

a moment like this
Some people wait a lifetime,
For a moment like this
Some people search forever,
For that one special kiss
Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime,
For a moment like this....

Some kids will come to you to ask for your support. Some will come to you because they're right and offended that they can't have it their way. Some will come to you because they've gotten hurt--either their body or their feelings.

Some will come to you just to hold your hand and look at you plaintively while everyone else goes beserk.

In fact, you may very well become the second most in-demand object on the plain.

Infinite kids implies infinite reactions.

I just broke a glass. Knocked it over on the counter and the shards sprayed themselves over the tiled floor and the carpet. Which meant, at the very least, vacuuming at very early in the morning.

I should also move the alcohol shelving where some fell, as well as take the alcohol off the shelving and wipe the whole deal down.

Or I could just take a shower and hope I remember to when I come home.

I have become addicted to freshly-squeezed OJ. Which is an expensive as fuck habit, especially when you finish each jug in a day. Each time cold symptoms become too palpable, I go grab some.

I swear it's cured me more than once, but it may be more pricey than the disease.

Jesse's right, it's the infinite number. Also, I think it really comes down to how old does a kid have to be in order to outrun you. Because with the toddlers, they only have the power to kill you if you feel responsible for them and want to try to take care of them, despite their mission to kill you. Otherwise, who cares if they run into the street/try to climb the fence/whatever, just get out of there. Don't be seduced by the cute.

I think it really comes down to how old does a kid have to be in order to outrun you

If they're coming from infinite directions (or, well, all of them), then outrunning is less of a possibility. Well, evading them by outrunning them is.

Yeah! Where are they coming from? Where's the font of babies? The horizons? One point? Wherever you're not looking?

SAVE ME!

How about the Smallville theme song, then?