What gets me, Cashmere, is that she uses a totally unparalleled example. If a kid is acting like an asshat in class and is rude to other students, I actually have no qualms about lobbing a well-aimed zinger at the kid.
Oh, yeah, totally. I don't think is an adequate comparison. I could imagine, hypothetically, him losing his temper with her in person if she was being a little shit (which kids can be). But for him to ramble on and on and insult her (while making up reasons he's upset--he had to "bust his ass to get to a phone?" WTF? Like he doesn't carry a cell phone and couldn't make or take such an important call whenever or wherever he was?")
I'm more disturbed that he is so disconnected, he doesn't know how old she is.
I've been known to make mistakes on how old my kids are. Parent Brain Syndrome makes me stupid sometimes.
how come? I mean, I wonder why he'd try to get out of it, though I can see why the show might want him out.
He's put his PR machine on full-steam, I'm sure. This is part of the plan. It could be preemptive--if they're going to let me go because of this, I should look like I volunteered to leave first. Or, he could just be putting on the appearance of trying to get his act together--willing to walk away from a tv show in order to make more time to become an actual parent.
I'm currently watching a friend here fight for shared custody of her five year old son and I hate seeing a child caught in the middle of this shit, when parents are so hateful of each other that they lose sight of the person they both should be thinking of first, rather than seeking opportunities to wound each other.
The "pig" thing is what left me feeling the worst about Baldwin's tirade (well that, and that he didn't know his child's age).
He sounded absolutely furious to me, and when people are angry, they're not always coherent. I don't know that he doesn't know his kid's age, as he was just too mad to concentrate. How many times has a mom called the kid by a sibling's name, and no one says "she doesn't know her children!" To me, the startling part was the actual word "pig". How much of a big deal would this be if he had used "brat" instead
I think the biggest asshole is whoever made the voicemail public, unless it was the kid herself, in which case, her parents have done a good job of screwing her up too.
I think the biggest asshole is whoever made the voicemail public,
YES. Especially since the divorce is a sealed proceeding.
To me, the startling part was the actual word "pig". How much of a big deal would this be if he had used "brat" instead
This was exactly my reaction. I just can't imagine calling someone you love, especially your child, a "pig". I guess I can't imagine name calling in general from a parent to a child, but the choice of the word pig really pinged me.
I'm betwixt and between on verbal abuse. I have no doubt that there's such a thing, but I'm not sure where the line is between a wrong step and abuse.
I'm not really objective on this topic, because Baldwin's rant is uncannily similar to how my mom communicated with me when I was the same age as Baldwin's daughter.
It's simply not acceptable to insult your child in that manner. Ever.
Is it verbal abuse? I don't know what the definition is that makes something cross the line from "rude" to "verbal abuse." But it doesn't have to fit the definition for "verbal abuse" to be absolutely unacceptable.
To state the obvious, parents are responsible for facilitating, as much as possible, the healthy growth and development of their children -- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Hurling nasty insults at one's child over a minor infraction seems, to me, to not really facilitate any kind of healthy growth whatsoever.
t edit
Heh. My post plus the previous 2 posts are the Buffista Steph trifecta!
Steph found the verb I didn't even know I was looking for--insult.
I do think parents' poorly chosen words can really cause a rift between them and their children without having to cross the line into abuse. My dad has bemoaned the fact that we're not as close as Mom and I are, but the fact is when I was a pre-teen he had a rotten—and worse, random—temper and I never knew what might set him off. He mellowed tremendously once I was a teenager (whether directly due to his brain surgery or as a result of the character-building that the paralysis forced him to undergo), but there's a certain amount of trust and comfort that you can never earn back once it's lost.
