Fox news says Cho Seung-Hui might have been possessed by the Devil:

Was Cho Seung-Hui schizophrenic … psychotic … manic-depressive? Or were the shooting deaths of 32 people, including Cho himself, at Virginia Tech University part of the ongoing struggle between God and Satan … good against evil … lightness and darkness?

Could Cho have been possessed by the Devil? Could that explain the massacre at Virginia Tech?

Dr. Richard Roberts, president of Oral Roberts University, shouts an unequivocal “Yes!”

“Based on what I’ve seen in the news," Roberts said in an interview, "there’s no doubt that this act was Satanic in origin."

Roberts added that he doesn’t know if it was Satanic “possession” or “oppression.” Possession, he said, occurs when Satan takes over a person’s life, and the person’s actions are dictated by demonic possession within. Roberts says he’s seen this type and has seen the Devil cast out of a person.

Satanic “oppression," on the other hand, is "that which comes against." "It’s not in a person, but is coming against them, trying to put evil thoughts in their minds,” Roberts said.

He said that the evil thoughts in Satanic oppression can be fairly innocuous, or they can be harmful. And the oppression can be in the form of fear, depression or discouragement, he said, because “Satan comes to kill, steal and destroy.”

Roberts says we’ll never know whether Cho was "possessed" or "oppressed," because the killer has died. But he did leave a note blasting everyone around him, calling them “rich kids,” and “deceitful charlatans,” and then blaming them, saying “you made me do this.”

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Hey speaking of wanting to hit yourself in the head with a shovel:

Fox News presents: Did The Devil Make Him Do It?

Is a Satanic x-post a sign of Satanic possession?

Do I have to put it in a bag?

Nevermind. I'm just gonna check it.

See y'all in SF!

Whoops. Look at that, tommyrot. We're both reading crappy news.

This is exactly the reason we need to have mandatory exorcisms as part of freshman orientation.

This is exactly the reason we need to have mandatory exorcisms as part of freshman orientation.

Or maybe make "Satanic possession" one of the items looked for in a gun purchase background check.

Daisy, do you have a pants pocket you could put the lipgloss in? Then you don't need a ziploc bag! Not that I would ever advocate smuggling anything on to an airplane.

Do I have to put it in a bag?

I had to put my Mary Kay lip balm into a ziplock bag all by its lonesome. It was the only thing in my carry on that I had to put in the baggy but they insisted.

But at least they provided me with a ziplock.

So we're still supposed to be afraid of the dread weapon lipgloss?

Someday. Someday sanity may return.

But probably not today, and not to me. You know that snippet that's played in some damn commercial that goes "WooooHOOHOOHOO ooowooooHOOHOOHOO." Some combination of ventilation or some wierd machinery outside or SOMETHING is making that same sound. And it smells like diesel exhaust. And I'm flying blind on a project because no one is answering their fricking emails.

So.