"While I can't force you to be the person I wish you were, I absolutely have the right to recognize that you aren't what I need and therefore will end the relationship."

What Vortex said. I may just C&P that shit straight up!

You're welcome to it.

(I didn't mean "shit" in a perjorative sense, btw, just being sorta slangy. It's really an excellent way of putting things.)

Anyone have any comments on the e-mail?

t /needy

Oh, who the hell am I kidding?! That tag never closes!

I like the email, vw.

I like the email, too, vw. The only suggestion I have is that you put some kind of time frame on it -- "my schedule is fairly flexible for the next few weeks, but I'd really like to speak with you before (date) so I can think about this commitment." Or somesuch.

I didn't fall asleep in my meeting, but it was close.

Oh, that's good. Thanks, guys!

(I didn't mean "shit" in a perjorative sense, btw, just being sorta slangy. It's really an excellent way of putting things.)

Oh, no I didn't think you did. I used to feel like I owed it to someone to be his or her friend or girlfriend and would get really frustrated when they wouldn't behave according to whatever model of correct friend/boyfriend behavior I had in my head. Then I was told I couldn't make anyone behave that way, which made sense, but left me with several more years of frustration over whether or not my models of behavior were wrong and maybe I should just accept others for who they are and then something happened that made me go "Sure. I can't demand that you don't knowingly hurt me, but I have the right to want someone who won't."

Then I was told I couldn't make anyone behave that way, which made sense, but left me with several more years of frustration over whether or not my models of behavior were wrong and maybe I should just accept others for who they are and then something happened that made me go "Sure. I can't demand that you don't knowingly hurt me, but I have the right to want someone who won't."

Sing it sister!

I can't demand that you don't knowingly hurt me, but I have the right to want someone who won't."

Why can't you demand it? If it's a friend, can't you say to them, "What you did here upset me, why did you do that?" If you get lies or waved off or told "You're just too sensitive" then you can say, "You're right, I'm too sensitive to have to deal with this." Some people don't do things knowingly, some people are just drifting along in status quo land and didn't realize the quo hasn't been under the status for a long time.