Break things off obviously and cleanly, though, don't wait for her to take the hint. And do it sooner than later. Have an answer you can defend if she asks why and wants to know if there's a way to fix things. And if there isn't a way, say so. Yes, it means you've got to deal with angst and hurt feelings, but as the person who was supposed to have gotten the hint that my company was no longer desired, it's kinder.

Wow vw. I guess it didn't go as poorly as you thought.

No. It did go poorly. Maybe she read my writing and liked my work. Or talked to some of my professors or something.

Although, she's back in town and is making overtures to hang out which I, while wishing to be friendly and civil, am dreading

you can be friend and civil while saying no. if she pushes, just say "our friendship ended really badly, and I'm not interested in going through that again. let sleeping dogs lie" (or something less southern)

Break things off obviously and cleanly, though, don't wait for her to take the hint. And do it sooner than later. Have an answer you can defend if she asks why and wants to know if there's a way to fix things. And if there isn't a way, say so. Yes, it means you've got to deal with angst and hurt feelings, but as the person who was supposed to have gotten the hint that my company was no longer desired, it's kinder.

Yeah, see that's why I think it depends. I've done both letting things just drift off and telling someone I couldn't be friends with them. Mostly it's a "While I can't force you to be the person I wish you were, I absolutely have the right to recognize that you aren't what I need and therefore will end the relationship." thing.

"While I can't force you to be the person I wish you were, I absolutely have the right to recognize that you aren't what I need and therefore will end the relationship."

wow, that's GREAT.

Ok...how does this sound?

Thank you for getting back to me about this so quickly! I am excited about this opportunity.

I know it is the end of the semester and a very busy time, but I was hoping you may have a few minutes to meet with me so I could ask a few questions about the program that I did not get the opportunity to ask at the interview. Actually, it could probably even wait until after classes end. I'm fairly flexible with my schedule, so let me know what works best for you.

Thank you so much!

vw

In truth, I look at the kind of rejection you experienced as a favor.

I do, definitely. I didn't mean to be all mopey, it just made me a little sad remembering.

You don't have to hang out. A polite "No thanks." is still friendly and civil. Well perhaps not friendly, but at least not unkind.

I did do this, but originally didn't have it in me to be final about it at the time. So, we'll see how it goes. Having some perspective definitely helps.

I just sent my husband a sexy love note!

Teeheeheeheehee! So cute. We love love!

Holy shit. I got into that tutoring seminar.

Ha! I would probably lean toward not taking it, personally. But that is definitely all about me and how I handle stuff.

(or something less southern)

No! Southernisms are the best. If you can't say something nice or profound make up a confusing metaphor!- as my grandmother used to say.

"While I can't force you to be the person I wish you were, I absolutely have the right to recognize that you aren't what I need and therefore will end the relationship."

What Vortex said. I may just C&P that shit straight up!