ION, I have a painful, red, bumpy under-the-bra strap-rash. AIFS.

---

oops. Didn't need to be said twice.

---

Sean, have you tried putting a set of sheets in the freezer for an hour or two? Might be more comfortable than a cold bath.

---

I've put in a call both to her primary doctor and my mother the nurse.

Good. I know she doesn't want to go back to the hospital, and hopefully it won't come to that, but that's a high fever for an adult, and if it's not be responsive to those things you can do for her -- well I don't know what my point was other than that I'm glad you've called her doctor and your mom.

How is your mom, by the way?

And now that I'm at my desk at work like a grown-up, my arms are hungry and my lips keep reaching for the top of her head and her hands and the crook of her neck, and she's not there.

One of my Nana's favorite aphorisms about parenthood was: In your arms, your arms ache. Out of your arms, your heart aches.

---

Oh Sean, I'm so sorry. As brutal as it feels, you may want to put her in a cold bath to force her body temp down. I'm at work today, but let me know if there's anything Drew or I can do for you guys later.

Not cold -- that can cause shivering which can raise the fever back up, and is so uncomfortable. Luke warm. It's still way cooler than body temperature, which along with letting the water evaporate when she gets out, to cool the blood, is the main thing.

I wouldn't do the bath with an adult, though. A sponge bath/wiping her down with a washcloth will do the same thing.

---

I defer to Cindy's motherly wisdom.

---

I second Cindy's suggestion, and add the suggestion of buying popsicles, which have the double benefits of cooling you off and getting liquids into you.

---

But not pushing on through *doesn't* equal malingering/coddling/enabling. And -- please correct me if I'm wrong -- I get the feeling that you think that it *does.*

People process their feelings in different ways. Though, of course, they'd all be better off if they did it my way.

As several people noted upthread, you have to find your own personal balance between articulating your feelings (which for me is a necessary part of understanding them. My feelings are often not clear to me until I put them in words), and creating bad habits which actually reinforce the problem. I think everybodys balance point on that is pretty fluid. But I do think it is something that everybody should be cognizant about.

I think lisah's comment about recommitting to not complaining is an excellent example of having a personal check. You're conscious of your own tendencies and have a cognitive approach to catching and correcting yourself.

Which, when I'm unable to shrug off a stressor, makes me feel like I'm a malingering failure for not being able to push on through.

Yeah, but you worry about that more than is probably necessary. You're fairly Tough Guy in your attitudes sometimes and you see being wimpy/whiny/complainy as a huge negative. Far from your ideal self.

But you only really complain (in a "complainy" way) about Chatty!Coworker, and frankly that's amusing to me.

---

Just got off the phone with the doctor, and he is not recommending we go into the hospital at this time. But he did reiterate most of what's been said here.

He also suggested one extra strength Tylonol twice a day, but we're both a little leery of that (as is our doctor, actually, but the other option for fever reducing is Ibuprofin, which can cause bleeding, and she definitely can't have that right now), as Tylonol is processed in the liver.

But I'm less worried now, having talked to him. It is a high fever, and part of me wonders if my temp would have been almost as high without the Advil I was taking.

How is your mom, by the way?

She's doing great. It turns out that the nodes on her thyroid were probably not cancerous, but better safe than sorry.

---

Current kid-related earworm.....

Gotta be a boooooooyyyyy!

---