Cleaning out my ancient emails I found I still had a copy of an old PHB contest. None of these is nearly as brain bendy as "cutting-age" but it seemed too timely not to share...

"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."

"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."

"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."

"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."

"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."

"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."

"Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."

My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."

"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."

143/1050 words done! GO AIMEE!!

t bangs head on desk

I have to have this thing done by midnight to avoid losing 20% of my grade on it. I'm gonna be over here, mainlining Diet Coke and dry coffee grounds as though I were building a doll house for Freddy Krueger.

{{Aillean}} As I have oft heard quoted here, fuck him in the ear.

Go, Aimee!! What with your mad writing skillz and Diet Coke. If it helps any, I just finished my homework and I'm two hours ahead of you.

I'm beat today. Up late last night working, up late tonight working. Will be up late tomorrow and Wednesday, too. Blech.

20%? Wow.

I hope I haven't seen any more posts from you because the words are just flowing out of you in an effortless stream of writing, Aimee. Good luck.

::quietly assumes ChiKat is asleep by now

Go Aimee!

I don't know why I'm not asleep. But I'm watching this really interesting show on TLC. They pretty much gave a bunch of kids video cameras and said, "Film stuff to show up about you and your life." The kids got a ton of footage, and then the TLC people edited it. Looks like they're doing about five or six episodes, three kids per episode. This one, there's a boy living in inner-city Baltimore, a boy in LA who has cerebral palsy, and a five-year-old boy who's a piano prodigy. It's really interesting to see all of these kids-eye views of things. It seems like a lot of the clips they're using are from the middle of sessions where the kids just sat down and started saying whatever came to mind.

I've got a place to myself, in a decent neighborhood where I don't feel afraid at night, that fits within my budget.

Sounds like a lovely combo that's not at all easy to find in most markets.

I am not the last person in the world that knows that my apartment isn't that great. I had two of my close friends make several comments as to the poor quality. But you know what? I've got a place to myself, in a decent neighborhood where I don't feel afraid at night, that fits within my budget. I'm sorry if it doesn't live up to everyone else's fucking standards.

I can't gronk why someone would basically insult a friend's living space.

I have a friend here who (while never insulting our house) has been trying to convince us to buy a huge, new house close to them in a new subdivision.

Um, no.

1) It's in a school system that's not as good as ours 2) It's $300K we DO NOT have 3) We have 12 years to go on our current mortgage.

Yes, our house is small and needs work but we love it.

I must start catching KP episodes.

-t makes the most sense. I like Lee's suggestion, but I think the last time Matt used a one word sentence he was 2. David kinda missed the dignity mark. Remember the dignity is for Matt not them.. Sadly BSG was a little too close to home. However, Kim Possible was very slashy.

Yes. beth, most of all, Matt doesn't want to burn bridges. Even though I know you'd rather he chew off his own arm at this point than stay in that trap, it is sort of lovely that they're fighting so hard for him to stay.

If I were Matt, I would try to say something like, "Thank you so much for your offer. I am both flattered and tempted. I have learned so much from working here, and I hope we get the chance to work together in the future, but right now, I think I need to test myself, and try something new."

The sad fact is, there is no longer any such thing as job security. If Matt has decided for sure that he will leave, he will want to leave the door open behind him, after he crosses the threshold.

Besides, you never know who you're going to run into, six months--a year--five years down the line. If this new company has hired Matt, who's to say they won't hire his boss, or other co-workers, some time in the future. He wants to leave on a friendly note, such that they'll always regret letting him go, and be more than willing to have him back, should he ever have to return.

beth, I hate the way they're making it hard to leave for Matt. It's difficult enough going through the whole thought process of leaving a job, let alone the job search and negotiations and THEN giving notice.

Matt doesn't owe the company anything beyond what he's already given. I hope he can gut it out and stay strong. He should be flattered they're freaking out over his leaving and grasping at straws trying to get him to stay.

I'd like to think that when he goes, they can take a long, hard look at their company culture and realize why he left rather than just treat people like crap and then scramble to keep them after that fact. I know it's not likely and I don't think any serious confrontations on Matt's part would improve that likelihood.

Yeah, Cindy's right - take it as a compliment, but firmly decline. "As much as I appreciate the offer, I've thought about this a lot, and it's really time for me to take on something new."

As an aside, this came up recently with a family friend who's managing partner of a large firm - he has a policy of never counter-offering, not matter how much they might want to keep someone, on the theory that by the time they've gotten to this point, they've already mentally disengaged and will most likely a) be miserable and b) leave soon anyway. I think he's right on the money - I've rarely seen people make that choice and not regret it.

I am not the last person in the world that knows that my apartment isn't that great. I had two of my close friends make several comments as to the poor quality. But you know what? I've got a place to myself, in a decent neighborhood where I don't feel afraid at night, that fits within my budget. I'm sorry if it doesn't live up to everyone else's fucking standards.

So been there. Fuck 'em.