beth, I hate the way they're making it hard to leave for Matt. It's difficult enough going through the whole thought process of leaving a job, let alone the job search and negotiations and THEN giving notice.

Matt doesn't owe the company anything beyond what he's already given. I hope he can gut it out and stay strong. He should be flattered they're freaking out over his leaving and grasping at straws trying to get him to stay.

I'd like to think that when he goes, they can take a long, hard look at their company culture and realize why he left rather than just treat people like crap and then scramble to keep them after that fact. I know it's not likely and I don't think any serious confrontations on Matt's part would improve that likelihood.

Yeah, Cindy's right - take it as a compliment, but firmly decline. "As much as I appreciate the offer, I've thought about this a lot, and it's really time for me to take on something new."

As an aside, this came up recently with a family friend who's managing partner of a large firm - he has a policy of never counter-offering, not matter how much they might want to keep someone, on the theory that by the time they've gotten to this point, they've already mentally disengaged and will most likely a) be miserable and b) leave soon anyway. I think he's right on the money - I've rarely seen people make that choice and not regret it.

I am not the last person in the world that knows that my apartment isn't that great. I had two of my close friends make several comments as to the poor quality. But you know what? I've got a place to myself, in a decent neighborhood where I don't feel afraid at night, that fits within my budget. I'm sorry if it doesn't live up to everyone else's fucking standards.

So been there. Fuck 'em.

beth, I have to agree with everyone else. There comes a point where you just have to get out, and it sounds like matt reached that point long ago. As long as the new place is competitive financially and at least has the possibility of being non-soul-draining, there really isn't a choice.

I've got a place to myself, in a decent neighborhood where I don't feel afraid at night, that fits within my budget.

As long as everything runs properly, I don't see where anyone else has room to criticize this arrangement.

Skipping to say, Daisy Jane: if my calculations are correct, there will be an OMWF singalong in Oakland that Thursday night. Regardless, I'm excited to see you!

I am so excited I don't even know how I'm going to make it to April! Everyone I've told says I'll love it there, and I'm thrilled to meet y'all!

I also meant to say a lot of our friends don't understand why we don't buy something suburban and appropriately white-married-middle-class like. And we may someday, but we're in no rush, we don't have kids (another thing they're all over us about), and we may not want to stay in Dallas, or we may want to buy a bar instead.

I've got a place to myself, in a decent neighborhood where I don't feel afraid at night, that fits within my budget.

what more could you want?

Talked more with matt this morning - he told me more about the counter offer and I laughed. He really can't take it. He is worried about the new job - but he has never had a job where his inital job description and his job actually matched.

I hope I haven't seen any more posts from you because the words are just flowing out of you in an effortless stream of writing, Aimee. Good luck.

I did not. You did not see any posts from me because I was hunched over my keyboard, sobbing, because I could not for the life of me, understand what the paper was supposed to be about. I couldn't figure out the definition of conventions or statuses in how they relate to Hispanic Americans.

I also could not understand the thinking behind assigning a research paper 2 weeks before my final project is due.

Joe finally pulled me away from the computer saying, "You can't write anything decent when you are this upset and tired. Let's go to bed." So, I did. After declaring that I was quitting school (I'm really not - that was the frustration talking.)

I'm tempted to just take the 100 deduction and get my B and be done with it. Hell, at this point, I'll be happy with a C.

...

School hard. No wonder I was content to sit there and be pretty my first time around.

Lemon yogurt and a vanilla cap:

STEPH! I had a dream about you last night! I came to stay with you in Cincinnati and you took me on the "Jennifer Crusie Tour" and showed me all of the landmarks that she talks about in her books! It was way fun!

Timelies!

I went to a very fancy party on Saturday that was way fun, but now I have a cold and that's no fun at all. Also, I got my ass grabbed but have heard nada from the grabber. So I am offended.

I'm sorry about school woes, for Aimee and ChiKat and others.

Work calls. Blech.

Oh! I am trying to schedule a brief visit to Puerto Rico. Any hints, tips, or advice?

Aw, Aimee. That sucks. I'm really sorry. It is SO HARD to balance schoolwork AND full-time work AND personal stuff (witness my total freakout crying breakdown staring at the online database this morning.) And I don't even have the having-a kid stuff that multiplies all the stuff I just said by a factor of 10.

I freak about it all the time. It makes me tired all the time. I try to focus on the good stuff, and try to take one thing at a time (while also... looking to the future. It's very convoluted). Once I figured out my studying/paperwriting style, it got a little easier to figure out ahead of time how to get in the groove, in theory anyway. There's always something that shakes it up.

It's very overwhelming. I know this is not encouraging, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

It's hard.

I can't even imagine taking more than one class at a time.