Spike's Bitches 34: They're All Slime and Antlers
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Things:
Buying a car is stressful.
Hot toddy is strong and wonderful.
Beginning traces of colds suck.
At some point, reading poorly written, crack-addled stuff leads to neologisms like "crapgasmic" coming out of your mental mouth while your toes curl at the horror of it all.
This is probably the point at which you should quit reading and go to bed.
Even if there's a lot more crapgasmic stuff to be read.
And every time I see tongues start to duel, I hear banjos.
And then I keep waiting for someone to order someone else to squeal like a pig.
Honestly, that would probably be an improvement on what normally happens in these things.
(Did I mention that buying a car is stressful? But now we have a new car. Whee. And on that note, I close my crapgastic collection and attempt to crash.)
Betsy, SpouseOfBetsy is on the LIST.
Dear Captain Adorable Peevish One,
We are very sorry to hear that you are not satisfied with the weather in your locality. Those of our number responsible for the Seattle Area have been slaving day and night to cause the conditions which you find unsatisfactory, however, and they suggest that you try visiting another clime.
Since Scotland is apparently not to your taste, they recommend
Thailand.
Signed, The Weather Demons.
Meanwhile, in the world of me, I have just been to audition for the Bangkok Community Theatre 'Fringe' production. There are 4 plays. 3 of them sound quite good - a 1930s comedy (all women), a play about the village of Eyam in Yorkshire, which is famous for deciding to close off its borders during The Plague rather than let infected people leave town (said play being written by the director), a play called 'The Subway Gods' (which was, the very young writer/director disarmingly admitted, at its worst rather like
Waiting For Godot
rewritten by a High Schooler) ...and then there was a selection of 'skits' written by a lecherous white American septagenarian, (adapted from chapters in his self-published book of anecdotes on Whacky Life In Thailand, 'Thai Touch' [with cover picture of Thai nymphette with a fingertip pressed to her pouty mouth]) all of which seemed to involve lots of references to breasts and/or the sex trade. He is the writer, the director and the main character in the wee pieces. Although he will be played by a much younger man, clearly.
shudders
...surprisingly, I didn't audition for the last one. Despite having mammaries every bit as massive as those that kept being referenced in his oh-so-amusing playlet 'Breasts And The Thai Government'.
There are, sadly, an awful lot of these ugly old white men who came to Thailand with their elderly cocks leading the way, like dowsing rods in search of pussy. It's not nearly as bad as I was expecting - but then you find people like this bloke sleazing around and it's icky icky icky.
Anyway, sad old sleazy white blokes notwithstanding, I really enjoyed myself & am feeling fairly positive about having a role in one of the plays I auditioned for. Fingers crossed...
The weather here is really gorgeous right now. I did, however, recently terminate a conversation with one of my good friends who is in the States. He toes the party line that there is no such thing as global warming, and spent 20 minutes complaing to me about how it was 71 degrees in VA and too cold in Joshua Tree over Xmas.
The glaciers are disappearing. Of course there's global warming.
Unless someone's hidden them...
Woke up in the middle of a dream about Julia swallowing glass.
That's one way to get your blood pumping, early in the morning.
It's currently about 33 degrees in San Diego.
My dad was taunting my about my weather and I told him if he thought it was so funny, I'd send it down to him. Sorry about that.
Joshua Tree got snow too. For which my mother wasn't pleased.
Yep, exceeding my parents' expectations, I am!
and too cold in Joshua Tree over Xmas.
But ... but it wasn't cold this winter much at all there until this last week. And why does he know? Because there is a strict granolas only policy in Joshua Tree. Unless he's military. He's military, isn't he?
Why I like Amory Lovins' new phrase: "global weirding".
EXACTLY!
That's one way to get your blood pumping, early in the morning.
Not exactly the recommended way though. Care for some nice soothing heroin?
We finally have winter appropriate weather here. It's been cold enough the last couple days and after one day of light freezing rain, we now have snow. Maybe an inch, just enough to let us know there will be a winter this year. Hopefully, it will stay cold enough for the lakes to freeze over and the parks to be able to put in the ice rinks. I was worried we wouldn't have enough snow/ice for the Badger Games later this winter.
Not exactly the recommended way though. Care for some nice soothing heroin?
Will it help the headache (possibly migraine, but that might be the self-pity talking) I have right now?
I am risking an anxiety attack, and apply extra caffeine to the headache, but heroin -- or really, anything in the poppy family -- sounds like just the thing.
Unless it nauseates. Will it nauseate?
Unless it nauseates. Will it nauseate?
From what I've heard, heroin often makes you puke, but you just don't care.
