You people crack my shit up.

Sean, my best to you and S. I hope that the fall didn't have lasting consequences.

Like a velociraptor!

Toddlers do seem to be a lot like velociraptors. Almost as smart as a human, but with a more cunning type of intelligence. An awkward gait that still moves them pretty fast.

And I'd be gating those stairs.

Oh, they're gated, but that won't stop him without supervision. At the very least he will throw all his toys down the (hardwood and concrete very loud) stairs. And there's a little landing that he could conceivably climb over and fall 25 feet onto concrete stairs.

I'm going to look for the lever-knob kits when I'm in the States Saturday. Today he opened the front door and headed out.

Raq - have you thought about those "invisible fence" shock collars like for dogs?

Aimee won't let me use one on Emeline, but you may have a more...progressive thinking spouse.

t narrows eyes

I'll give you progressive.

Raq, if you can, get some hook and eye locks for your doors (not bedroom doors - doors leading to the outside). Install them as high as possible.

Darn it, Mal. Don't copy Chris. That's so tacky.

have you thought about those "invisible fence" shock collars like for dogs?

Yes, yes I have. Robert is looking for something more like the restraining bolts Luke put on the droids in Star Wars; he's concerned that Mal could break his collar off on a rocky outcropping.

If you can, get some hook and eye locks for your doors

We can't, as the door is metal. We just have to keep it locked, and make sure the nanny does too.

You can drill into metal. But if Mal hasn't yet figured out your lock, I guess it's not necessary. Of course we didn't know Chris had figured out our locks. He scaled the gate, moved a chair over to the door, undid the chain lock and the deadbolt and got out.

Yes, yes I have. Robert is looking for something more like the restraining bolts Luke put on the droids in Star Wars; he's concerned that Mal could break his collar off on a rocky outcropping.

Well, there's always "Manchurian Candidate" style brainwashing...

Bonuses: You can throw in things like "Always do the dishes without question or whining." "Obey curfews." and "Do not set fire to the neighborhood children."

Cons: May attempt to assassinate presidential candidate at mention of Chinese food.

Raq, how long will you be in the states?

I'm helping Kara's teacher do assessments of the class today. It's quite fun. I have to be back there in an hour to help some more. This time I get to bring Aidan. It could be interesting.

A personal trainer avg. salary is 33k a year, nationally. A corporate trainer avg. salary in DC is 42k a year.

Cons: May attempt to assassinate presidential candidate at mention of Chinese food.

Note: may or may not be a con, depending on candidate.

Hmm...the downside really doesn't seem to outweigh the...hello, Mr. Seekrit Servus.

ION, we had our biochem attack training today. There was some humor. We all got our new MK-1 sets, which is the self-inject pen you use if you're in a chemical attack hot zone. These bad boys push 6 cc of fluid into your muscle in under 10 seconds; talk about pressurized. I saw a demo once where the guy pushed one against a piece of plywood - the needle punched right through and the atropine sprayed all over the far wall, about 6 feet away.

So the instructor is telling us how effective the MK-1 is. "We gassed a rabbit with sarin gas, and it went into convulsions; 15 minutes later it was dead. We gassed a second rabbit, and gave it the atropine at 14 minutes--"

My friend D-- interrupts: "Did the rabbit blow up?"

The instructor glares at him. "The rabbit fully recovered. We put it back in its cage and it was good to go."

I poke my colleague: "Great! You'll be perfectly able to do your job! All you do is twitch and nibble on lettuce."

More glaring.