And the calcium and protein, sj. Don't forget that.

I am woman enough to admit that I am a much better mommy to infants than I am to toddlers.

Dude, toddlers are strange beasties. Adorable but EVIL to the fucking core of their being. They manipulate you emotionally, exhaust you physically, drain you financially and then grin at you, wrap their dimpled arms around your neck and melt whatever is left of your reserves.

I have no illusions about the wee people in my house. I love them, to be sure, but I never, never, NEVER let my guard around them. If I did, they'd knock me out, steal my car keys and credit cards and go on a binge at Toys R Us and Chucky Cheese.

I hope Em fell asleep on the sofa watching a video for you.

We ate the batch of potato & leek soup I made yesterday, topped with some bacon bits, chives and some shredded cheese. Served with some buttered Challah bread. Mmmm...starchy, comforting goodness.

The trick to toddlers, I have learned, is to treat them like you would any "friend" of yours that you don't really trust. Ever be vigilant for their bullshit and let them know in no uncertain terms that you will not be buying it.

That, and take every opportunity to play with them, because they are fun.

I have swept and mopped the living room, dining room, kitchen, mud room, and bathroom. I have also scrubbed and cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, done dishes, done two loads of laundry, and am about to get to the part that will actually make the place look clean: the de-cluttering.

Oh, and let me note that this was not half-assed sweeping and mopping--I actually moved shit out of the way and scrubbed the motherfucker.

I credit the Chicago movie soundtrack and Gwen Stefani for my progress thus far.

The trick to toddlers, I have learned, is to treat them like you would any "friend" of yours that you don't really trust. Ever be vigilant for their bullshit and let them know in no uncertain terms that you will not be buying it.

That, and take every opportunity to play with them, because they are fun.

If you two ever get your parenting book written, this MUST go in it. Best. Analogy. Ever.

Bloody hell. Nice little freakout this afternoon.

S is not always steady on her feet. The other day, while I was at the theater, she took a spill while trying to sit in a chair and missed. She bruised her forearm, hip and tailbone pretty badly.

About 45 minutes ago, she took a face plant while I was in the other room. I heard the thump and heard her say "Fuck," and ran out to check on her.

She got a cut on the bridge of her nose, and her front teeth cut the inside of her upper lip pretty good. She bled quite a bit. Both cuts haved stopped bleeding, and we're pretty sure she doesn't have a concussion (no headaches, nausea, vomiting, pupilary reaction, spots, confusion, loss of consciousness or amnesia), still.... It freaked me out pretty bad, and I really wanted to take her to the ER, but she's not inclined to go.

{{{S and Sean}}}

Oh, Sean. I'm so sorry. I hope she's okay, and that you can breathe.

I hope Em fell asleep on the sofa watching a video for you.

No such luck, but her and I snuggled n the couch for about an hour and a half watching George and the Berenstain Bears.

I also broke my own Cardinal Rule today - she watched Barney. It was only the one time and I'll never ever ever let it happen again.

I promise.

Ouch, Sean. Get some ice on her face and it will hurt less tomorrow.

Signed,

An Expert in Falling Down

I also broke my own Cardinal Rule today - she watched Barney.

I don't even know you anymore.