No! Can you link me up in mail?

Done!

Oh, and remind me (if you mail me) to find the episode coda to Born Under a Bad Sign that somehow hit all my pain points but good.

Oh! I'd like to read that, too, if you please.

I asked over in Fan Fiction, but is there anyone who might be willing to do a quick-and-dirty beta of a Friday Night Lights/Angel fic?

Hello Buffistas. THis is Emeline.

My mom is the meanest mom in the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD. She won't let me watch Clifford Dog! Something about running away from her and not coming back when she called me. She says she counted the three, but how do I what "three" is? I AM ONLY TWO!

I also got put into my naughty spot for running away again. See above re: ONLY TWO.

Also, mommy said that I should ask the hivemind what "Sold to the gypsies" means cause I don't know. See above re: re: ONLY TWO.

My life is so hard. Imagine Plei being without Supernatural or Jilli without MCR for NO GOOD REASON.

She's trying to get me to dance. I think she's crazy. I want an orange.

Oh, dear. Miracleman's Daughter has reached the technology. Imminent collapse of civilization is near.

Poor, poor Emeline.

My life is so hard. Imagine Plei being without Supernatural or Jilli without MCR for NO GOOD REASON.

Plei, we just got namechecked as the high water mark for obsessiveness. Again.

Dear Emeline,

Do not run away, ever again, if you want to even see a book with Clifford on the cover. One time, everyone in my house was busy, and I wanted a Slurpee. Now, I'm no dummy. I know the way to the 7-11 and back, so I figured I'd shift for myself.

I can't get into detail, here. Suffice it to say, I don't think I even saw a Slurpee for another six monthsm. That may have been on account of the police involvement.

It's funny you should mention gypsies, because I'm still trying to work out what that means. Sometimes though, my mom adds, "If they'd take you."

All is not bleak, however. I totally bet you'll get your orange, because that's healthy food. Give your mommy a big kiss and tell her she's the prettiest and maybe you can catch up on Clifford, tomorrow.

Love,
Chris

P.S. How do you feel about older men?

The past 100 messages have made me realize that:

(1) Though I have heard *of* My Chemical Romance, I've never heard their music;

(1a) Oh, PLEASE. Don't EVEN act all shocked -- I am the ultimate mainstream boring uber-dork when it comes to music;

(2) I like the Pussycat Dolls (though I think their name is stupid, even for a burlesque act), in a Funyun sort of way -- the kind of way that makes me unable to change the radio station when they're on, NOT the kind of way that makes me buy their CD;

(3) I'm very overdue for a haircut;

(3a) I'm sick of haircut pressure -- either someone wants me to cut it short, or someone says oh, baby, I reeeeeeealllllly like it longer, can't you just let it grow? -- because I don't even know what *I* want my hair to look like;

(3b) My hair is NOT a commodity;

(3c) [Huh. I'm suddenly feeling all kinds of righteous feminist rage over how willing I am to jump through hoops and change my appearance just to make people happy. I'm like a trained goddamn seal playing the horns. Okay, then -- I AM PRETTY NO MATTER WHAT LENGTH MY HAIR IS AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK. Ahem.]

(4) Dude, I do NOT know where #3c came from. Although I mean every word;

(5) I just made muffins from scratch, and boy howdy are they good -- also very full of fiber and with almost no sugar and no flour at all;

(6) And now I have polenta in the oven.

(7) There is no number 7.

To sum up, I have Big Feminist Issues with my hair, I like bad music, and my apartment smells like blueberry muffins and polenta.

Crap. I broke Bitches with my weirdness.

. . . .

. . . .

THE POWER!!!! AHAHAHAHA!!!! THE POWER!!!!

How do you feel about older men?

I like them just fine, but my mommy says that I am betrothed to Owen. I met him. Pretty cute. Great taste in t-shirts. I think his sister is looking, though.

I didn't get my orange. Mommy says we're "out". Whatever. I'd make that "W" sign with my fingers if I knew what a "W" was.

I did get some cheese. And mommy is letting me watch "George" now. Which, I kind of like better.

Hey - what's a Slurpee?

(psssst...Steph.....you know nothing of hair rage until your own mother - a woman who curses 80's hairstyles as much as she curses The Gap for going "trendy" - gives you a mullet. IJS.)