I mean, what works for your family doesn't have to work for mine, you know?

See, that's teh sanity talking again. You should really watch that.

Being childless somehow meant that we weren't a "real" family--that we weren't "real" adults.

That never really goes away. I, for example, have only spent one Christmas in my house, and it took chemo for that to happen.

I think all the Buffista parents are wonderful parents, and they give me my required quota of cute kid quotes and pictures.

I mean, how else could you contend that decent people would rise to the occasion? What subtlety am I missing here?

I don't think would-make-a-good-parent equals decency. I'm just talking about some basic combination of ethics, empathy and the ability to act on those impulses. It's not neutral behavior, but the capacity to do good for others. Doesn't mean you'd have to dedicate your life to that pursuit.

I'm twitchy about this, because I *know* I'm judged by SAHM friends for working and having my kid in daycare, for not totally subsuming myself under the needs of the child. I strive to be good enough as a parent, and to raise a kid who is as happy and well-adjusted as possible, but not by sacrificing myself on the alter of a mythical perfect childhood.

People get extremely judgmental about parenting choices: breastfeeding, discipline, circumcision, diapers, sleeping arrangements.

You know what I think matters in most instances? Constancy. I think a lot about the time EM and I had to help Emmett through his anxieties about the baseball tryouts last year. I think about it because it was such a huge exception. It required strategizing and doing the right thing in the right way at the right time.

The vast majority of parenting doesn't require exceptional delicacy and nuance and balance. It's mostly about being there, and being emotionally stable, and taking care of stuff. You make mistakes or have your little triumphs, but if you show up and do the dishes and do the laundry and help with the homework and are affectionate and don't ignore them then you're mostly doing fine.

ACK!

It's like the apocalypse outside right now! Rain and thunder and wind, oh my!

It was hailing here in Santa Monica a little while ago.

God is obviously punishing you wicked West-coasters.

Fire and brimstone will be next. And toads.

GC, I'm in Brentwood right now, so we're probably getting the same weather. This winter crap can stop any time now. (Not that I can compare this to real winter, but I moved to SoCal for SUN!)

Fire and brimstone will be next. And toads.

Just as long as it's not more snow. Toads are fine.

ION, the heel on my left boot is loose. As in, it clicks when I walk, and I'm going to have to be very very careful walking to the bus tonight to make sure it doesn't come off. Does anyone know if I'll be able to glue it back on using ShoeGoo? 'Cos I do not have the money or time to take them to the shoe repair place right now, and these are my favorite boots.

People get extremely judgmental about parenting choices: breastfeeding, discipline, circumcision, diapers, sleeping arrangements.

Yerp, and about the choice between having children and not having children.

I'm Skippy McSkimmer, so I won't respond to any particular post, but I just need to say, as a parent, the whole discussion about good vs bad parenting often strikes me as unproductive. Unhelpful. If anything, I think all the ideological baggage dumped onto parents gets in the way of discussing parenthood and parenting. It's such a loaded set of issues.

I just want to be the good enough mother. That's all I can be, I'm never gonna be the perfect mother. Honestly, I think most of the time I veer between loving parenthood and feeling like I have to struggle just to keep the chaos at bay. But hey, my mom was the good enough mother, and I think she was a wonderful mom.

Does anyone know if I'll be able to glue it back on using ShoeGoo?

Superglue should work.