Homely Dateless Bitch

Save room on that bench for me, erika.

I don't even know that I'm ready for a pet yet. I'm not past the "not killing your houseplants" stage.

I don't know, meara, if you're enjoying the ride I don't think you need to apply brakes. Worry about the baggage when it becomes a problem.

meara, I was a commitmentphobe until I met Greg, and then it was all over. I've never been able to put brakes on, so no advice from me. I hope it works out for you both.

I've been reading along and enjoying the thoughtful conversation. Probably the worst stuff I've gotten re: children is "Wow, you sure waited a long time between!" when they find out how old Nick is. And one lovely person denying I could possibly be the mother of a 21 year old. I did get funny looks when I told Aidan's teacher he was sick and cranky and she said, "poor baby" and I said, "you won't say that when he kicks you."

I always said I would adopt if I had no children of my own, and my mom always said that stuff about adoption being fraught with peril and so forth. I still think about it sometimes, though, and yet, I don't think I'm a particularly good mother. I think I'm an acceptable one, and sometimes I think I was selfish to have them because I wanted them, without thinking about how much it would cost in my own health, money, time, desires and energy. It wasn't until after I had Aidan that it sunk in that I'd be a good person even if I'd never had children. That was a weird moment for me.

I have felt guilty about wanting kids (biologically my own) when the world is overpopulated way more than I have felt guilty about not having kids. But I've always wanted kids, so that colors how I interpret other people's expectations, I'm sure.

Holy mother of flail... You know how you idealize people and stuff about them? But it's never exactly how you remember?

Well I have a friend in LA who is this perfect mashup of Keifer Sutherland and James Spader (now, with added Michael Rosembaum). I haven't talked to him in ages. But it's his birthday today. And I don't recall his email but for some reason I know his office number still.

So I just called to leave him a message and his voice on the recording left me a little speechless. I hope I got my name right when I left a message.

It is much, much easier to send your resume out when you have some experience. And clips...check it out, I have a clip file...it took me about ten years and hanging with invisible ax murderers, but I have one. Go me. They would be totally lucky to get me. It feels good to feel that way. For once.

jumping into the "baby" discussion.

what drives me more nuts than anything is when you tell someone you don't want kids and they rebutt with "you'll change your mind". WTF?! are you in my brain? no i'm not going to change my mind. i've had this opinion for as long as i can remember. kids and i are meant to live in separate homes. i love them much more when they go home with their mommies.

of course, now when someone tells me that, i have the added bonus of guilting them with "no, i won't change my mind because i can't have kids. thankyouveddymuch!"

Some people totally do, of course. But nobody should take that for granted.

Go you indeed, erika!

They would be totally lucky to get me. It feels good to feel that way.