After you do get married, the same people will want to know when you're having babies.

OMG, people can be so freaking rude about this. When Kevin and I were on our honeymoon (on a small boat in the Galápagos), two of the other passagers seriously interrogated us about when we were having children. He and I were never planning to have them, and we told them as much, and this couple couldn't understand it at all. They asked if we were just scared; we said no. They asked if we were just waiting until we'd been married for a few more years; we said no. They asked if we were waiting until we bought a house; we said no. They asked if we thought we'd change our minds some day; we said no.

Finally one of them asked if we had some sort of genetic thing in our families that meant we shouldn't have children. After gaping at her open-mouthed for at least 10 seconds because I couldn't effing believe she had the nerve to ask that, I finally said, "Yes! Yes, I do. I have MS and I don't know how likely it is that I'll pass along the disorder to the next generation, so I'm not having kids."

They didn't so much talk to us for the rest of the trip as look guiltily in our direction and look away again quickly. I hope they're still embarassed about it.

I really can't imagine asking strangers about that. Ever.

Jeez Jen, I was slack of jaw just reading that comment, much less having it in front of me. What a jerky thing to ask.

Sort of like my friend who adopted an infant from Russia six years ago. Some idiot woman on the street kept pestering her about where her baby came from and refused to believe the actual story based on the child's Asian features.

Then the kicker, "What are you going to do when she starts speaking Russian?"

yep...people can be pretty stoopid.

they both mean an enormous amount to me as friends, and I'm really just dying to meet both of them.

Sean--that is very sweet--and the feeling is reciprocated.

what say we descend on chez Cash sometime when winter's over and take care of all that meeting up stuff?

Open invitation!

Funny note - Joe had no idea today was the first time Cash and I had met in person. Hee.

It certainly did not feel like it! We sat and chatted while the kids were playing like we've known each other forever.

Jen, you should have tossed them overboard right then and there. No jury would convict you.

After you do get married, the same people will want to know when you're having babies.

OMG, people can be so freaking rude about this. When Kevin and I were on our honeymoon (on a small boat in the Galápagos), two of the other passagers seriously interrogated us about when we were having children.

You know, the thing that actually pisses me off most about this rudeness is what if they're trying and can't get pregnant, and you've just opened up that can of worms? I mean, it's wrong for any reason, but I'm watching my brother and SIL try and try and not get pregnant, and people ask them when they're gonna have kids, and it breaks my SIL. I just want to smack 'em.

I'll admit that I've asked married couples if they're planning on having kids but if someone says, "no." I certainly accept that as a reasonable answer. I'm wondering what the fuck is wrong with people that they would press that kind of issue.

I also make it a point, if some friends are together, but not married to not ask "when are you getting married?" I've asked if they were thinking of marriage but also don't push into someone else's business if they're not interested in sharing.

Pushy breeders are nobody's friend.

thwump

Today is the kind of day where I wish to shout "Have you the BRAIN WORMS?!?" at many many people.

However, cutie-pie pictures! Yay!

I assume that if people want me to know things about their personal lives, they'll tell me. If I'm not in the need-to-know group, that's their business and not mine.

At my off-site last week, one of my co-workers was talking about the fact that she didn't want to have kids, and another one seemed almost offended by the notion. When Co-Worker A said she didn't think she'd make a good mother, Co-Worker B said, "You don't know that!" Worse was when another one, Co-Worker C, said he and his wife were thinking of adopting rather than having their own child because why bring another child into this world when there are so many kids out there who need a family? And, again, Co-Worker B became very adamant about her position, telling him there wasn't actually this huge glut of kids in need of adoption, and there were all these women who were unable to have children of their own, and here they were, able to produce a child but refusing to, instead taking from the stock of children that could go to women who couldn't have their own kids, and it's hard to mold a child taken in at the age of four, and...it was all very strange, and I was surprised neither one of them actually got pissy with her.