And certainly not improve my behaviour for the better. It doesn't mean anything, other than I've slammed into a wall of group think. It's like being told to talk to the hand, or being sent to Coventry, both of which are acts of aggression.

Again, I concur with ita here. For me, this would drive me absolutely apeshit. I mean, foamingly angry. Really, really, really damned angry. I understand that it wouldn't have that impact upon you, but it would totally push my buttons to have everyone suddenly turn into 'bots rather than have individuals talking to me as individuals.

I'm not talking about not ticking off the person doing it, I'm talking about not letting the situation blow-out.

I think it's very subjective. I and others may be more primed for a blowout with that approach, rather than less.

If fifteen people calmly tell me I've gone over the line

It's pretty much happened, hasn't it?

But it hasn't been calm. The cumulative effect has been decidedly un-calm. If it's the same statement fifteen times there is simply less fuel for the fire.

But it hasn't been calm

Go back. Read. It was calm. And then ... it devolved. Because people are human. If it's gotten to the place where people CAN'T self-Doblerise, then they can't do your shorthand either, can they?

I think in this particular situation it could be useful.

And on the whole Zoe question, if we give her this unofficial warning, if she ignores it, can she get an official warning?

I think so - that's why I'm calling it Stage 1. See Cindy's post (which I am too lazy to Nilly) saying hopefully getting the unofficial warning (or Notice if you prefer) would be enough to encourage those who want to play nice to change their behavior. And it wouldn't have to be such a Big Deal to issue one, because it's intended to be a Nice Heads Up.

I think in this particular situation it could be useful.

Again, we disagree. I think it has been tried, it failed, and there's no reason to think it would work again.

I don't know Trudy, I think it might make me mad to be on either the giving or receiving end of it. Also? I already mother 3 people. I don't want to group-mother random people on the internet.

Zoe, that wasn't nice.

Christopher, don't stand on the couch.

Julia, put my necklace back.

Benjamin, use your inside voice, please.

See what I mean?

[Hideous-looking but delicious omelette:]

What ita said.

If it's gotten to the place where people CAN'T self-Doblerise, then they can't do your shorthand either, can they?

Again, think of it as a sit-in. One guy spontaneously sits at a counter, even five, it's just a fight. If a big honkin' group of people agree to do it a statement can be made.

(Fortunately, no one is going to turn hoses on us. We are risking NOTHING by doing it.)