Sigh. I hate to start off the new year this way, but I do have an update of sorts on my brother. I just got off the phone with my SIL. Our conversations have gone from every couple of days to about once a week, because she's been sleeping at the hospice almost non-stop, and also because there's been little change. Also, the holidays in particular have been difficult for her. In some ways, I think she feels about updating me the way I feel about updating you all--it must be exhausting and depressing to hear. But it's also strange to go a long time without hearing anything, so.
She said that they took him off the feeding tube about two weeks ago, which she didn't mention the last time we spoke. Also, they have him on a morphine patch, partially because he was coughing a lot. The doctor said that most people would have died already, but that his heart and lungs are so strong that he's hanging on. They can't give her a timetable or anything. His kidneys seem to be failing, but slowly. The tumor is in both hemispheres of his brain now, but they're not going to do anymore MRIs or C-T scans, so there's no telling how far it has spread lately. It's just a waiting game.
I really didn't want him to die on Christmas for my nephew's sake, but now I just want it to be over for my SIL's sake. I'm going to Portland on Friday night for G's ordination, and he asked me to be one of his presenters, and it would suck if I didn't get to do that, but I can't worry about it. (Portland Buffistas, btw, I would have posted about my trip, but I'm actually going to be in Portland for less than 48 hours before T. and I head for LA--CRAZY--so I don't think there will be time for a get-together this time.) As for the LA folks, I hope we can make a visit happen, but if that falls through, I will certainly let you know.
Anyway, as always, thanks for all the ~ma, the support, everything. I feel like this has been going on for so long, and yet it feels like it happened way too fast. Even though he's not gone yet, 2010 feels like the year that we lost my brother, because really, he's been gone for a while now.
Onerous task completed (about 1am last night).
Welcome to the world Aeryn Sylvia Alter!
Please send an incredible amount of ~ma Andi's (WindSparrow's) way tonight. I can't tell you any more, but please.
My mom is having a heart test of some sort on Friday(her blood pressure's a little elevated) and probably she just has young and eager doctors, but it would absolutely be easier for us if this was No Big Deal, so I thought some vibes would be nice.(Also, maybe some vibes for her new medication to work well without side effects...just healthy thoughts or something.)
Thanks!
I posted about this on the book of Face, but I found out Monday that my job is terminated effective today. I have a bunch of applications out there, but with mouths to feed and looming debt, if any of y'all feel like sending out some "this will work out for the best" vibes my way, I'd be most appreciative. If it helps, this was easily the crappiest job I've held since I was in my early 20s and an abrupt end was inevitable. But I was hoping that I'd get to be the one who'd bring it to that abrupt end.
I am back from a day hanging around in Owatonna, and the three hours they let me visit her. She is doing better and thanks everyone all for the ~ma.
They might let her leave tomorrow or Friday.
If anyone has resources on the obstacles facing low-income populations and helping them break the welfare cycle, or memoirs by people who've done it, I'd appreciate it. Profile addy is good.
Long day. I got up early to stop en route to work and talk to Andi's doctor via cell phone. He wants me to come in at 8am tomorrow (Friday) to talk, but I found out from Andi when I called her at lunch that he's going to let her go home with me!!!
Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all your support these last few days. The Body Image Demons ganged up on me with their old pal Major Depression, and the result was me being in the hospital. I'm now home. I have some new meds which have not had the chance to reach peak effectiveness yet, and I have a bunch of outpatient appointments with various and sundry doctors, therapists, and groups. The cats are swarming around me, gently, telling me what a good job Daniel did taking care of them while I was away. Daniel read a few of your messages to me over the phone one evening, enough to make me weep with love. And I know there are so many that I have not had the chance to read yet. But I want to say thank you again.
