In Bitches:

amych: English needs a safe word!

From Bitches:

Steph L: Another BDSM language oddity that I also loathe is when submissives/slaves refer to themselves in the third person. It *barely* worked for Caesar and Bob Dole; it ain't going to work for you.

Fay:...don't they all just end up sounding like Smeagol?

I'm sorry to repeat, but I just have to provide Tep's initial post as the set up for amych because it is too damned classic to leave out. I really want to COMM the whole conversation that followed, but I will restrain myself. No pun intended.

Steph L:

Oh god, mailing lists for local events are Dante's seventh ring o' hell. Add in the FUCKED UP habit of many BDSM folk to capitalize everything referring to a dominant and lower-case everything referring to a submissive AND if they're addressing a mixed group they use BOTH upper- and lower-case IN THE SAME WORD, and I have rage blackouts.

It would look something like this:

Hello A/all,

my name is master's pet. my Master is Sir Kicksyourass. W/we are looking forward to meeting Y/you A/all at the next event lol. i hope W/we make many new friends, if i am not too naughty hehehehe. See Y/you soon! smiles

And the sound that's so high-pitched only dogs can hear it? That would be me, keening in agony.

I don't think Sir Kicksyourass is a real name, although it wouldn't surprise me. The Boy doesn't like it when I make fun of scene names, so I can't mock them to him. But, seriously, when you introduce yourself to me as Gunga Din (true story), all I can do is laugh. (That didn't end well. True story.) Also? If your name is Sir Top (a real scene name), you REALLY need a goddamn thesaurus.

amych:

English needs a safe word!

This time, context is KEY...

Shir: honsetly, I think the worst problem of the world today is that not enough people are watching good tv

From Buffistechnology:

ita: who here shoots in raw?

javachik: I am usually at least wearing socks.

shrift: Oh, dude, we're under another blizzard watch? All this precipitation is bringing me down.

Gudanov: When you're stuck in a day that's gray and lonely, just stick out your chin and grin, and say, oh the sun'll come out tomorrow. You just gotta hang on 'til tomorrow.

Really, it's just a day away.

Dana: You're singing show tunes at shrift on a Monday morning? Brave man.

Gudanov: I'm just paraphrasing lyrics. There are limits.

shrift: You have a great evil in you, Gudanov. Come closer so that I can remove it with a melon baller.

Natterly--

Ailleann: There's a church over in my mom's neck of the woods whose steeple has blown off the building at least three times. I don't even know how that's possible, but at least one of those times I've driven by and there it was, lying in the yard next to the church.

connie neil: Bungee cords would fix that. Though the rebound would be hard on the rafters.

Ginger: They may want to reconsider what god to worship.

In Supernatural 2:

Austin: eta: If I am paying $500 for breakfast with either J's, he better be cooking it, and we better be waking up bleary eyed and naked about an hour before that. Three condom minimum the previous night or I'm asking for a partial refund. Now that's a golden ticket.

Gudanov: I feel guilty. I just had a Butterfinger at 9:15 in the morning. I have a thing for Butterfinger bars and it was just sitting there. At least it was only fun sized. Personally I think it is kind of depressing that fun means small. I think it is actually a good size for a candy bar, but in general I think I would want fun to be big.

Now that I think about it, making "Fun" mean small could be useful for political spin. Your dreams of retirement haven't been crushed under the weight of a tailspinning economy, your retirement account has been fun sized.

Sue, in Natter:

Dude, if we are going to start taking down Americans, it won't be with geese. They're totally rogue and can't be trusted.