In Bitches, Steph L. recounts a conversation between herself and her Boy.
I said, "Jesus, the past 6 months have been so fucked up for us -- you had abdominal surgery, and I had inexplicable stomach badness, that weird-ass vertigo, panic attacks, and now this back problem. What's next?"
Him: "We'll probably give birth to a cute little teratoma we can call our own."
Teratoma out of the blue!!!
After I finished laughing, I said, "Even though it will be hideous, it'll be our hideous teratoma baby."
Him: "You can tell me its one tooth looks just like mine!"
Me: "And its tuft of hair looks just like mine!"
In Natter:
Jessica: Snowpocalypse in NYC has devolved into Rainpocalypse: The Enslushening.
In Natter
Typo Boy:
Snow can go to hell, where I gather it is wanted.
In Natter:
billytea:
My wedding could have included "we've replaced his wedding vows with Folger's Crystals, let's see if he notices" for all I know, it all being in Mandarin.
in Bitches:
Shir: "Your grandmother asks where you are and when we'll have children to light Hanukkah candles"
billytea: Is that a requirement? Can't you use a match?
Cass: But children give such a lovely light, what with the madly flailing arms.
billytea:I am at last seeing a connection between "The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire!" and "Wave your hands in the air like you just don't care".
From Movies.
Fay:
Mind you, it does drive me insane that these movies have convinced kids that scarabs are flesh-eating demon monster beetles. When trying to teach Ancient Egypt, the kids are all 'yes, yes, we know about scarabs - they EAT YOU ALIVE!!!!' To which I'm all '...er, no. Not so much. But they do roll big balls of poo around, which is still pretty good value for money.' And they just give you these pitying looks, and insist that scarabs eat you alive. And when you start to jump up and down and rail at the heavens, and point out to them that THEY ARE EGYPTIAN KIDS and that THERE ARE SCARABS OUT THERE IN THE PLAYGROUND RIGHT NOW, and that said scarabs are not, in fact, stripping the flesh from the kindergarteners' bones, but are instead calmly rolling along balls of dung, the kids Will. Not. Believe. You. Because they saw it in the movie.
ita, in Natter 62:
Life is okay, and the daiquiris are free.
Sean K:
There is FROZEN WATER on the GROUND in BURBANK!
Miracleman:
Oh, good!
You got my gift.
In Natter --
connie neil:
I prefer not to crap on things with intelligence.
Hec:
One of the many ways in which you are not Chuck Berry.
connie, once again for the win in Bitches, perfectly describes a seemingly universal mindset:
They think "I can make them nice!" Or they figure "My ass-hattery will trump their ass-hattery, and they will acknowledge me as Sovereign of Ass-Hats and stop competing for my crown!"
