WindSparrow: Volunteering for the bits that are within your own preferences is a time-honored way of controlling the damage that others' plans can cause us.

The Buffistas were sort of on fire with this one...

tommyrot: Did y'all know that Newt Gingrich doesn't think Sarah Palin should be the leader of the GOP? Maybe because he thinks he should be. Anyway, here's a quote from ol' Newt:

"I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment. I think it is prepared to use the government if it can get control of it. I think that it is a very dangerous threat to anybody who believes in traditional religion," - Newt Gingrich, referring to the 18,000 married couples just forced apart after a Mormon-funded campaign against equal rights in California.

Jesse: Yeah, the riots and violence over the weekend were something, huh? Oh, wait. There was no mass violence associated with the prostests, was there?

Matt the Bruins fan: Only because the drive to Salt Lake City is too long and they won't let me bring automatic weapons onto a Northwestern Airlines plane.

msbelle: what kind of delusional batshit crazy asshole do you have to be to think that Gays and or Non-Religious folk have the power in this country. 1) PRAYER, Christian prayer to be exact, to open like a million public events. 2) The word God on money, in the pledge (which is said at a ton of public schools and government ceremonies, and mentioned in every political speech/state of the union. 3) People STILL making a huge deal anytime a public figure comes out. 4) Being gay being used as a rumor against political candidates to damage their image, because it is seen as bad to so many in this country.

Newt you are a tool and an asshole. And it is NOT Gay Secular Fascism until someone bans your bible and forces you to have the gay sex, you pile of horse shit.

Jesse: Speaking of which, Wanda Sykes!

tommyrot: I think Wanda's been out for a while - she just never made a big deal of it until now....

msbelle: shocked I tell ya, SHOCKED. oh right I do not care about anyone's sexual preference unless the preference is me.

Ginger:

Dear Newt:

You married your math teacher. She put you through college and grad school. Then you cheated on her and asked for a divorce when she was in the hospital being treated for ovarian cancer. You had to be sued to pay your children's orthodontist bills. Then you cheated on wife #2.

I think we secular fascists are securely on higher moral ground.

Jesse: You know, I have been feeling somewhat disenfranchised lately, and I thought it was because of the lack of my people (white Prostestants) being elected into power, but now I realize it must be because I'm a straight Christian.

msbelle: oh my god, it is so hard being a white well educated protestant. I am so beat down and overlooked.

msbelle: and there's not even a club for people like me (actual quote from a suburbany mostly secular white girl I went to college with).

Burrell: ::raises hand and waves it about wildly:: I know! I know! The answer is: A sorority.

Dana in Natter -

I once had a doctor tell me I shouldn't drink within a week of taking ibuprofen. I laughed at that one. Not to his face, but later, while I was drinking.

Natter:

connie neil (re: cats): 15-20 minutes of "My human, my reason for existing, hold me, touch me, let me gaze into your eyes!" per day, then they're pretty "Yo, dude" from across the room the rest of the time.

Aims: I've dated men like this.

Hil R.: One of my friends wanted to have a birthing party. Her plan was that she'd call her friends as soon as she went into labor, and everyone would come to the birthing center and bring food and wine and have a party. We all thought this was kind of weird, but it was her third kid, so we figured she knew what she wanted by now. It turned out not happening, anyway -- she delivered the baby ten minutes after feeling her first contraction, two minutes after arriving at the birthing center.

msbelle: I would have to be paid to be at a birth. seriously.

megan walker: I don't even like being a bridesmaid.

Gud, from Natter: That's it, I am now disillusioned about Bush.

Allyson in Natter re: Roomba inventor:

Open the dustbin door, Hal.

I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that.

aurelia: The puppies are amusing me with their new cushions.

javachik: The Buffistas are amusing me with their conversations.

Theodosia: I have slain the grocery store monster and now am home with the bounty of my quest.

Barb: Anyone else picturing Theo with a Bowie knife clenched between her teeth?

Just me?

Right then.

Theodosia: I find that if you go down the supermarket aisles with a knife clenched in your teeth, the other shoppers tend to get out of your way. It sure helps you get through your list faster, anyway.

Erin, in Bitches 43:

A page and a half on the foreskin? Wow. Does anyone, no matter how used they are to the circumcised, need that much info on it? Couple of paragraphs and a diagram, I can see.

For the rest, maybe a cautionary, "Like other male junk, Gentile or Jewish, watch the teeth, use lube and have a safe word! Shalom!"