tommyrot:

I think one day, God said to Himself, "You know, I don't think people appreciate cats enough. I think I'll have Al Gore invent the Internet."

Windsparrow: You don't get to say the shit you said during the campaign, then turn around and say this tripe, and have anyone ever believe a word that comes out of your mouth. Ever. Go on, tell me the sky is blue. Let me demonstrate my faith in you by deliberately walking to a window to see for myself.

Fay, Literariliy:

...oh, sweet Jesus. It has just occured to me that Moby Dick/Free Willy crossover fanfic might be out there somewhere.

Also? What IS with naming fictional whales after the penis? Really? Hello, subtlety?

I mean, honestly, Shamu and all these names at Sea World - are these just stage names? Are they really called things like John Thomas, Woody, Ivor Biggun, Trouser Snake, Pork Sausage, Truncheon Of Love and Really Enormous Penis?

...and suddenly I'm imagining the voiceover person warning the front 15 rows that they might want to move, because Really Enormous Penis is going to soak them all.

shrift: I'm a hater harshing your rubbernecking squee, oh yeah.

juliana: Soon to be the next hit single from Fall Out Boy.

Vortex: Why does everyone on freecycle type like 13 year olds? A depressing lack of punctuation, grammar and capitalization.

Polter-Cow: They already gave those away.

In Supernatural, though not about Supernatural (a.k.a., not a spoiler):

le nubian: I was completely grossed out by this too, but it was more that he was dirty than the fact he was dead. I just couldn't imagine having sex with someone who was covered in dirt. That just gives me the ick. I cannot believe I prioritize that over "being alive."

In Natter, filed under "context? Say what?":

tommyrot: I feel like I've been locked in a closet with an epileptic giraffe....

Erin: I'm trying to squeeze in an appointment tomorrow morning so no one at my new job sees me with unemployment brows.

WindSparrow: Volunteering for the bits that are within your own preferences is a time-honored way of controlling the damage that others' plans can cause us.

The Buffistas were sort of on fire with this one...

tommyrot: Did y'all know that Newt Gingrich doesn't think Sarah Palin should be the leader of the GOP? Maybe because he thinks he should be. Anyway, here's a quote from ol' Newt:

"I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment. I think it is prepared to use the government if it can get control of it. I think that it is a very dangerous threat to anybody who believes in traditional religion," - Newt Gingrich, referring to the 18,000 married couples just forced apart after a Mormon-funded campaign against equal rights in California.

Jesse: Yeah, the riots and violence over the weekend were something, huh? Oh, wait. There was no mass violence associated with the prostests, was there?

Matt the Bruins fan: Only because the drive to Salt Lake City is too long and they won't let me bring automatic weapons onto a Northwestern Airlines plane.

msbelle: what kind of delusional batshit crazy asshole do you have to be to think that Gays and or Non-Religious folk have the power in this country. 1) PRAYER, Christian prayer to be exact, to open like a million public events. 2) The word God on money, in the pledge (which is said at a ton of public schools and government ceremonies, and mentioned in every political speech/state of the union. 3) People STILL making a huge deal anytime a public figure comes out. 4) Being gay being used as a rumor against political candidates to damage their image, because it is seen as bad to so many in this country.

Newt you are a tool and an asshole. And it is NOT Gay Secular Fascism until someone bans your bible and forces you to have the gay sex, you pile of horse shit.

Jesse: Speaking of which, Wanda Sykes!

tommyrot: I think Wanda's been out for a while - she just never made a big deal of it until now....

msbelle: shocked I tell ya, SHOCKED. oh right I do not care about anyone's sexual preference unless the preference is me.

Ginger:

Dear Newt:

You married your math teacher. She put you through college and grad school. Then you cheated on her and asked for a divorce when she was in the hospital being treated for ovarian cancer. You had to be sued to pay your children's orthodontist bills. Then you cheated on wife #2.

I think we secular fascists are securely on higher moral ground.

Jesse: You know, I have been feeling somewhat disenfranchised lately, and I thought it was because of the lack of my people (white Prostestants) being elected into power, but now I realize it must be because I'm a straight Christian.

msbelle: oh my god, it is so hard being a white well educated protestant. I am so beat down and overlooked.

msbelle: and there's not even a club for people like me (actual quote from a suburbany mostly secular white girl I went to college with).

Burrell: ::raises hand and waves it about wildly:: I know! I know! The answer is: A sorority.