In Bitches.
Daisy Jane:
A friend of mine was telling me about a live sex show he went to once where the girl wrote on him with a sharpie using only her goolie. It turned out it was permanent marker and he had to tell his girlfriend he'd passed out and his jackhole buddies wrote on him.
It actually explains a lot since whenever he passes out over here at our St. Pat's parties, he always slurrs a "Don't let anyone write on me." to me as I'm putting him to bed.
I did let my girlfriend write his name on his forehead since she kept calling him by someone else's name at the party.
victor infante:
So, one of my myriad old roommates went to Tiajuana with a friend, and when the cab driver asked him where he wanted to go, he said "take us to the donkey show!"
To which the driver replied, his voice distraught, "No, man. The donkey died!"
Daisy Jane -
At least it was in eyeliner.
The writing I mean. I have no idea if the donkey was in drag.
Raq in Bitches:
I don't think I can overstate the impact of Wonder Woman on my sartorial comprehesion.
tommyrot:
It's important to stay in practice for napping.
Hec responds to anti-baseball propaganda in Bitches:
Let me recap the episodes you're missing. Blah blah House! Blah blah other guy! Ooh, look they are cranky and say cutting remarks to each other! I deduce they have true love! No wait, that's Stargate: Atlantis. Ergo I suggest that Stargate: Atlantis is actually House in an Aquarium. How this relates to Sealab 2020 and Scrubs I am unsure. Next: Supernatural Incest vs. Numb3rs Incest, aka Undercover Brothers are doing it for themselves.
Cashmere in
Lost:
*
I watched. I'm giving this two more episodes. I'm starting to get annoyed. I feel like I'm pushing the button and all I'm getting is a fucking fish biscuit.
*
Hec, in bitches:
Matilda To English Dictionary
At! = "I am awake. Please wipe my ass."
Ah... = "Hello, And you are...?" Sometimes also, "Interesting." preferably with fingers peaked like Mr. Burns.
Waaaahhhhh! = "I am disconsolate! Life has no meaning! Where is The Breast?! Not that breast, you eediot! The other one. The one I like. Now you will feel my wrath as I claw desperately at the wrong boob with my sharp and tiny talons!"
Umf. Umf. Umf. = "I am taking a crap. You may expect to hear the disconsolate 'Waaaaah!" shortly."
smuksmuksmuk = Your pinky finger, sir, I assure you is no nipple. But 'twil serve. 'twil serve."
[high chittering noise. cf., agitated Coati Mundi] = "Alarum! OMGWTFPOLARBEAR! FIRE! That's it, Man. Game over! Game OVER!"
!tuk !tuk = "This shit is delicious."
eep eep = "Uhm. My body seems to be shaking with recurrent spasms. I am concerned. Perhaps a little anxious. Definitely annoyed that you find these so-called 'hiccoughs' amusing."
uh. uh. uh. = "I am satiated. The milk it is good. All is satisfactory. Bring me my hash pipe."
Soon I bet Matilda stories are going to overwhelm the Buff diving database!
