I don't know, is it cheesy to COMM your own wife? Somebody needed to COMM this, though.

JZ in Bitches: Now I really want to see that word [expedite] in a Smoove B seduction essay.

Baby, I know what you need, and I will devote myself to expediting the process of servicing all your needs. I will have on hand a selection of oysters, both Tomales Bay and Kumamoto, served on fine bone china accompanied by sterling silver bowls of mignonette. After each oyster I will personally remove the shell from your presence and then return to dab the corners of your beautiful mouth with a napkin of finest Irish linen. I will ply you with champagne and dark chocolates, and, once you are sated with the many aphrodisiacs I have provided, I will freak you both thoroughly and expeditiously.

In Natter:

ita: I just have to get to the end of the work day. That happens, right?

Allyson: When you see 300 pairs of footprints in the sand, that was when Buffistas were carrying you.

Allyson: The FDA says that Plan B will result in teenage sex cults.

Betsy HP: Teenage Sex Cults would be a great name for a band.

Allyson: Or, as the alternate URL for MySpace.

Killing time in Minearverse:

Kevin: Somebody give me Drive gossip?
Just make it up, I don't care if it's true or not.

Dana: Drive is Chuck Norris' dream project.

Jesse: Chuck Norris doesn't drive; the road flees from him.

Aimee in Firefly, articulating my world view:

And smugness is better than jackholery anyday!

Cass: Dinner was num. Made a champagne sauce (cause I wanted to open the bottle) for some grilled salmon and pattypan squashes. One of the squashes committed suicide in the microwave and barfed its squash-y guts up. Mom of Cass washed up. Such the nice mommy. Ima have another glass of champagne, some strawberries and sour cream and then pass out on my amazingly stable bed. It's fabulous.

Fay in F2F: I have NO idea how to spell this word. It is not an English word. I feel it should be weiner, but then a little voice in the back of my head says it derives from Vienna, so maybe wiener, and then another little voice says that maybe it should be spelled ickythingsthatpretendtobesausagesbutaren'treally.

SuziQ in Bitches: Ok - at work - I just uttered the sentence "Dick's too big, will have to deal with that later" and my contract manager said "Handle Dick however you want".

TomW (the Brit), responding to Jesse (The Cowgirl) taunting him in Natter:

Jesse: I'm inclined to agree with you, but then I realized that you're a foreigner yourself, and now I'm afraid you can't be trusted.

TomW: I knew it was a mistake for me to push that British translation of the national anthem. "The Star Festooned Bunting" was never going to catch on.

billytea in Bitches:

He's calling from inside your pants!!