(COMMed in part for the crosspost, but each of the replies alone would have been funny, by itself)

Daniel C. Jensen: Story: [link]

By injecting human embryonic stem cells into the brains of fetal mice inside the womb, scientists in California have created living mice with working human brain cells inside their skulls.

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

WindSparrow: I think so, Daniel, but where are we going to find flying monkeys at this time of night?

amych: But where can we find a bald eagle in a diaper at this time of night, Brain?

Fred Pete: I think so, Brain. But how are we going to get the tutu on the elephant?

In Bitches, letters to the asshat bosses of the DHs of Cindy, JZ, and beth:

Topic!Cindy:

Dear Various and Sundry Bosshats,

What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody bosses? Why do you bitches torture our bitches...er...husbands. They're ours. They came to us. Or something. Anyhow, and to sum? Lay off. What goes around comes around. Like butter scraped over too much bread. There's not enough time; there's not enough time. It's a long road that knows no turning. It's a long way to Tipperary. Don't let the sun go down on me. Walk through the fire and let it burn. It's Istanbul not Constantinople, and little lambs eat ivy.

We mean it.

JZ, beth, and Cindy.

JZ:

Or the short form:

Dear Various and Sundry Bosshats:

Let us 'splain... No, there is too much. Let us sum up.

We will cut you.

Kisses,

JZ, beth and Cindy

Which ties to this post that exemplifies why I luvre the Empress so:

Aimée:

Dear New Guy -

Yes, the person who was in your job was damn near incompetent. Yes, he knew nothing about effective managing. Yes, he needed to pull his head out of his ass in order to drive and sign on his computer.

However, this does not mean that I, or anyone else in this office, is incompetent. The mere fact that this building made a profit those 2 years and did NOT fall down shows that we were obviously the brains behind the idiot.

Stop telling me how and when to do my freaking job.

Love, kisses and glitter -

The Empress

PS I will cut you

ita

There are disturbing noises coming from downstairs. The network goes down for 30 minutes and it's all Lord of the Flies down there.

vw: The class average on the exam was a 70%! So, my 64%? A C!!!!!!!!!!!! Me = thrilled!

Laura: I think the Bitches should take credit for the lower~curve~ma we pumped out on this one.

Cass: I am dolt. A dolt who has three cell phones in my purse (oldold, old and crushed by car, and new) so it was really inevitable.

Aimée: MM had to hide one of Emeline's Christmas packages from me cause I almost opened it.

We don't know what family member it's from, but I want to OPEN IT NOW.

It's from American Girl.

ita: Aimée! Set a good example!

Topic!Cindy: Yes, open it, to ensure her safety, and then re-wrap it, like any good mother would.

Steph, in Natter:

A few years ago, a friend and I were out drinking downtown about a week before Christmas. As we were walking to the car, we saw a Santa with a traditional red bag of goodies, ambling down the street, followed by a pack of people making merry.

We saw him handing out stuff from his bag, so my friend and I decided we wanted stuff, and ran over to where he was. (Truthfully, I was expecting red and green condoms, or something similar.) Santa was a little drunk -- or a lot -- but reached into his bag and gave us each a handful of Hershey's Kisses.

Then Santa and his band of merry-makers continued on down the street, wandering past a gay restaurant with a big plate-glass window in the front. He stopped, and we could hear him asking his band of merry-makers "This is a gay restaurant, right? They like other guys?" Upon getting confirmation, Santa proceeded to do an impressively obscene dance right up against the front window.

My friend and I couldn't even walk, we were laughing so hard.

Jilli in Natter: One of my favorite childhood games was yanking Barbie's head off, hiding it around the house, and seeing how long it took one of my parents to find it.

aurelia, also in Natter:

I spent much of my evening wrapping little people in bubble wrap and stuffing them into boxes. And suddenly I feel like this post belongs in Minearverse.