Natter is making me laugh today...

Nilly: The only thing I know about this movie is that it was mentioned in some Israeli movies site, and they kept mentioning his name as the current Israeli currency equivalent to the sum of 50 cents. So the kept calling him "2.34 NIS".

and a little positive feedback at work gives us this from Shrift: Oh my god. This is what Jaye felt like when she got her Employee of the Month award, isn't it?

Raq: Legion would slit both our throats in the night if we got a Roomba in addition to the baby. He's that close to the edge.

In Bitches, re: babies and gates

Miracleman Emeline was very happy with our Stargate. Then she got cranky because I'd locked her out of the Dialer thingy.

I told her "No alien empire homeworlds for you, young lady, not until you've amassed enough of a military force or starfleet to actually stand a chance against otherwise superior alien technology, plus you've got to stop bonking your head when you walk under the table."

She said "Mneh! Bye bye, dada! Mneh!"

So we're still working through that issue.

amych You know, Joe, if you let her get across the room via event horizon, she wouldn't have to bonk her head on the table. Meanie.

MM That would require two Stargates and, really, our electricity bills are high enough.

Though it might mean I could grab beer from the fridge while still sitting in the living room ala Homer Simpson. Hmmm....

No. No no no. Emeline will just have to learn to traverse space/time the long way just like other children. At least until she figures out how to tesseract by herself.

DebetEsse: In order to 'gate on the same planet, you'd have to re-work the whole dialing system, anyway. Possibly re-design the whole thing.

Much better to work on the tesseracting. Or, you know, the teleporters.

You could teach her to get you a beer from the fridge for you, though. As a meditative exercise, of course.

amych: You people aren't thinking big enough. First, you need to colonize a whole new planet. Then, you put a refrigerator full of beer on that planet. Then, send the baby to the refrigerator-planet to fetch the beer. Then, enslave another planet to produce all your electricity for you before the bill comes due, because the interstellar collections dudes really aren't any fun at all.

Honestly, Joe, I thought you had this evil overlord thing down a little better!

Jessica: Or, you know, the teleporters

Seriously. Would it kill you to install a couple rings?

DebetEsse: But then you're into sending the baby to Alien Homeworlds again. I mean, it's very hard to protect the beer planet from all comers, and people would want to be there. Which also means the beer would likely go away.

MM: Look, we just now managed to teleport a subatomic particle across a workbench. Breaking down and rebuilding physics takes time, okay? Plus, there have been delays because of Emeline's propensity for reaching up from my lap to type gibberish on the keyboard with an experiment in progress, resulting in multiple failures and one spontaneous creation of a coconut creme pie. We're still working on figuring that one out.

The pie was, however, delicious.

Miracleman is on a roll. Presumably not Kaiser

All I was trying to say was [*we interrupt this post in the interests of common sense. The poster obviously has no idea how to say what he intends or explain the complexities of what he feels, thinks, or thinks he feels. For the common good we have stepped in to overwrite his rambling, nonsensical and, frankly, inadvertently offensive justification of his prior post to instead present this surreal joke:

Q. Why couldn't Bob go through the revolving door?

A. Because he had a javelin through his skull.

We now return you to the inane post nearing its end. Thank you.

This has been a Public Service by the More Discreet Part of Miracleman's Brain. Yes, the More Discreet part. Frightening, isn't it?*] with a platypus up his ass!

That's all I meant.

The Miracleborns are in rare form today:

Aimée: Ok, I want a bike.

And I want to take Em riding in a baby seat.

I can not seem to find a helmet.

Anyone else able to find them?

Miracleman: How about a forcefield?

Gimme just a couple days and $6,000,000,000.00. No problem.

Aimée: We used our last $6,000,000,000.00 for our best friends' wedding.

Boxed Set:

Vonnie K: Quick! Someone name the 1st to the 7th plague!

Laura: George Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Condi Rice, Don Rumsfeld, Alberto Gonzales, Bill Frist? I might have them in the wrong order.

Name of failed blowjob-ee deleted for kindness:

Kat: A college friend tried to offer him a blow job in the men's room once. When she was turned down, she was so disconsolate she tried to drown herself in the lady's room sink.

In COMM, BetshyH:

Name of failed blowjob-ee deleted for kindness

... while the rest of us wonder what a "failed blowjob" might be.

Unlike Betsy, I think the whole thing is funnier if you know the guy who, er, blew it:

Kat: Ray Liotta has terrible skin. A college friend tried to offer him a blow job in the men's room once. When she was turned down, she was so disconsolate she tried to drown herself in the lady's room sink.

Ah, college. Good times, good times.

Plei: Bras, on the other hand, are NOT something you find in good shape at Goodwill. Shoes can be fixed up with a bit of polish and a trip to the cobbler.

Bras cannot.

Sure, in theory, they're not something a casual viewer will spot, but a good bra is as essential as breathing.

Bras, unlike shoes, have the power to make you look a good ten pounds lighter (and perhaps even ten years younger) just by getting a proper fit.

Bras can prevent back pain.

Bras can get you free drinks.

Bras can, in a pinch, lead to world peace, harmony, and cold fusion.

In short, go bra! Choose bra!