Name of failed blowjob-ee deleted for kindness:
Kat: A college friend tried to offer him a blow job in the men's room once. When she was turned down, she was so disconsolate she tried to drown herself in the lady's room sink.
Let him do his thing, and then you get him out. No messing with him for laughs.
Mal ,'Ariel'
Coffee On My Monitor
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Betsy HP - Nov 11, 2005 1:31:42 pm PST #8166 of 10000
If I only had a brain...
Gus - Nov 11, 2005 1:41:21 pm PST #8167 of 10000
Bag the crypto. Say what is on your mind.
In COMM, BetshyH:
Name of failed blowjob-ee deleted for kindness
... while the rest of us wonder what a "failed blowjob" might be.
Burrell - Nov 11, 2005 1:42:11 pm PST #8168 of 10000
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
Unlike Betsy, I think the whole thing is funnier if you know the guy who, er, blew it:
Kat: Ray Liotta has terrible skin. A college friend tried to offer him a blow job in the men's room once. When she was turned down, she was so disconsolate she tried to drown herself in the lady's room sink.
Ah, college. Good times, good times.
Betsy HP - Nov 12, 2005 1:50:13 pm PST #8169 of 10000
If I only had a brain...
Plei: Bras, on the other hand, are NOT something you find in good shape at Goodwill. Shoes can be fixed up with a bit of polish and a trip to the cobbler.
Bras cannot.
Sure, in theory, they're not something a casual viewer will spot, but a good bra is as essential as breathing.
Bras, unlike shoes, have the power to make you look a good ten pounds lighter (and perhaps even ten years younger) just by getting a proper fit.
Bras can prevent back pain.
Bras can get you free drinks.
Bras can, in a pinch, lead to world peace, harmony, and cold fusion.
In short, go bra! Choose bra!
DCJensen - Nov 12, 2005 8:08:38 pm PST #8170 of 10000
All is well that ends in pizza.
Polter-Cow, in Firefly, talking about a specific moment watching the feature Film Serenity in a theater:
about thirteen thousand gasps, followed by a "SHIT!" in the back
I almost wanted to laugh, but my heart was beating too rapidly for things to be funny.
Gus - Nov 13, 2005 6:42:08 pm PST #8171 of 10000
Bag the crypto. Say what is on your mind.
Context? Bite me.
Kristen : I really didn't intend for this conversation to go in the direction of my ass.
Pix - Nov 13, 2005 8:11:24 pm PST #8172 of 10000
We're all getting played with, babe. -Weird Barbie
Windsparrow, in Bitches, "helps" PC with his continuing troubles with his mother:
P-C, if this were a sit-com, we would be contractually obligated to tell you to lie to your mother, to create an imaginary girl-friend. Not sure which would be funnier: a fictional girl-friend who fits within your mother's specifications for your apropriate mate (other than that she didn't pick the girl out herself); or, a fictional girlfriend diametrically opposed to your mother's dreams - say, an albino slut-bomb from New Jersey. Also, there is the challenge of finding someone to pretend to be your girlfriend when your parents visit. Hopefully this will be someone you actually like, because you would then be contractually obligated to fall for this girl, forcing you to give an impassioned speach about being allowed to love whomever you choose.
tiggy - Nov 15, 2005 10:26:48 am PST #8173 of 10000
I do believe in killing the messenger, you know why? Because it sends a message. ~ Damon Salvatore
Wolfram in Minearverse:
"how to tell if the showrunner hates you."
10) Files all your submitted scripts under R for Recycling
9) Makes you act out particular scenes with character voices in front of the catering staff
8) Wants your next submission to be in crayon
7) Calls you Shakespeare, a lot
6) Asks if you've ever considered writing for Reality TV
5) Refers to you as the "one in every group" guy
4) Has you pitch him ideas from outside the stall
3) Tells you your punchlines make him cry
2) Uses finger quotes when discussing your "dialogue"
1) Makes you break all the news from Fox headquarters
Calli - Nov 17, 2005 8:14:36 am PST #8174 of 10000
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs
From Bitches, sans context:
amych: "I've had a successful career as a cartoon supervillain, but the chance to put the same skills to work as a FOX executive is a long-time dream of mine".
Kate P. - Nov 17, 2005 8:55:13 am PST #8175 of 10000
That's the pain / That cuts a straight line down through the heart / We call it love
shrift in Natter, on keeping old love letters:
I think the only things I've ever received have been letters from stalkers, or from friends who wanted something more than platonic and thus filled me with an uncomfortableness.
I guess what I am saying is that I have an evidence log instead of a hope chest.