Jessica: The good news is, my printer is not a Cylon.

My apologies if this already got commed. I wouldn't know where to stop copying this, but brave Teppy's tales of battle with the sentient mold in Bitches was making me lose my shit:

Steph L. "Spike's Bitches 26: Damn right I'm impure!" Sep 18, 2005 3:14:18 pm PDT

Allyson, in Natter, on why event planning would NOT make good reality television:

She said it would be good for business.

I said it would be unlikely to be good for business, because event planners tend to constantly be dealing with fires, and some jackhole with a nut allergy who just ate the satay with peanut sauce, and some actor who got "lost" (read, had to tie one on) on the way to the party, and a the ice sculpture of David at the bris who was mistakely carved with a foreskin that you have to chip off in front of the horrified father.

We look like raging cuntbag bitchpie most of the time at the event, very unkind, unflattering. Great TV, but with no time for a camera tailing us when threatening the hotel staff with a pair of salad tongs for forgetting to put the sterno blue fire pu pu platter shit under the fondue.

And she said, "omigod you're so funny."

Definitely can't argue with that last statement.

Natter, bringing the surreal:

tommyrot: Wasn't it just the other day that someone was asking if there were any giant pink bunnies in Italy?

Artists erect giant pink bunny on mountain [NB: this was a link to an article]

An enormous pink bunny has been erected on an Italian mountainside where it will stay for the next 20 years.

Matt: Sure, it seems cute now, but what are they going to say when lightning strikes the thing and there's a 200 foot pink rabbit terrorizing the Italian countryside?

Perkins: That Clovis is at it again?

tommyrot: I think they will say, "Release the giant pink mountain lion!"

Except in Italian.

juliana: Liberi il leone di montagna dentellare gigante!

In Bitches:

dw: We don't do DB connections anymore for the web, only XMLHTTPRequest, and I keep dealing with people who don't know what to do with raw XML.

Plei: Glower at it!

(What? It's worked for me since 2001.)

Cass: If glowering at things is the key, I am shockingly underpaid for my skill set.

From Natter:

Steph L.: (Note: gold stars have no cash value. Do not eat gold stars, put gold stars in eyes or open wounds, and do not feed gold stars after midnight. See your doctor if you experience any of the following: testicles growing in stranges places, the uncontrollable urge to sing that song John Ashcroft wrote, or a deep and abiding love for Zamfir and his pan flute.)

billytea: Rice in a tube still strikes me as more acceptable than cheese in a can. Neither, however, compares to Chicken in a Biskit.

billytea, in F2F: context be damned. DAMNED, I SAY!

Pardon me boy... Is-that-the-Calling-of-Cthulhu? Track 29, madness outside of time...

Pardon me boy... Is-that-the-Calling-of-Cthulhu? Track 29, madness outside of time...

natter

In high school a friend of mine had a step father named Roy. When they got a cat, the cat chewed his new pair of shoes.

and we always used to sing...

Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes...

and I think of that every time I hear the song.

BWahahahahahaha!!