Raq, in bitches, cause it made me laugh and larf:
Mallory is ready for books, finally. We've been trying to get him interested in sitting on our laps while we read to him, but he wasn't
having any. Now he's into turning pages, though, so I went online to find a couple board books for him.
Me: Should I get him "Pat the Bunny?"
Robert: What's that? Some sort of gender-neutral sex ed book?
Me: (laughs and laughs)
Robert: Well?
Me: Would it help if I said it was a touch-and-feel book for babies?
Robert: This is part of the liberal media's gay agenda, isn't it?
In
Literary,
a discussion of children's literature takes in
Help, Mom! There are Liberals Under My Bed; It's Only a Plant; King & King
and
No, George, No!
Polter-Cow:
Check Strega's link, Frank. It's about marijuana. Though it supposedly talks about the effects, dangers, and benefits of this simple plant. Damn. I miss the days when there was one fish and two fish and red fish and blue fish.
ita:
I know. It's very sad that they've been removed from the market.
Betsy HP:
It turned out the blue fish were practicing autoerotic asphyxiation.
Raq:
And the red fish were Commies, which is what liberals want to make everybody.
Betsy HP:
The two fish? Gay, gay, gay.
Psst, Fay, it was actually in Literary.
Ah. Well, that would make more sense. Housepoint for observation skills, DX.
Cashmere:
Kara is going to grow up to have her own talk show. Or possibly be the Queen of Everything.
Billytea:
Fortunately for her, Oprah has already demonstrated that these are not mutually exclusive.
In Natter:
Shrift:
Client: I need these files.
Me: Those files don't exist.
Client: So when can I get them?
Me: As I mentioned in our previous communication, they do not exist.
Client: Hi, I'm just checking on the status of my request?
Me: I'm on some new reality show, right? "When Natural Selection Fails to Intervene!" You, I suspect, should have ended up in the belly of a bear.
Calli:
Me: The files are on [this server here].
Client: According to my network, that server doesn't exist.
Me: Kinda like those files.
On kids' birthday parties in Bitches:
Hec
Right up there with Kiddie Birthday Inflation.
AmyLiz
Kids satisfied with homemade cake and a donkey's ass are a thing of the past.
Bob Bob
gets COMMed on his first day, relaying a phone message to bon bon in Natter:
Brent: I'm not inviting Pat to my wedding because he cheated with your brother's girlfriend when they were still dating. Also, he always treated me like shit. And he just says whatever the New York Times says. Me: You know, he asked about you. Brent: What'd he say? Me: That he hadn't heard from you for awhile, and he wondered if you were mad at him. Brent: You know, the truth is, I just lost his number. Tell him to give me a call.
And so a friendship is repaired.
Kristen
in the Minearverse:
I should not be allowed to go into home improvement stores unsupervised. A quick stop for a few things turns into endless wandering around the store going, "Ooooh. That's so cool."
Tell me about it.
In Minearverse:
Tim:
Allyson, why aren't you writing?
Allyson:
Same reason you're not writing?
Cashmere:
b.org. it's where the best writers come to slack.
